[stylist] Halloween tale

Tue Oct 25 23:25:19 UTC 2011

Shawn,
I have read the story and every time I like the twist at the end more. I
also like the setting and the way it subtly shifts throughout to isolate him
more, and appear to be eerie and threatening.
If there are any technical mistakes, I think it would be in the sentence,
"not sure what basic think I missed." I think you mean thing. Then at the
ending of another sentence, "a happy ending to. I think you mean too meaning
also.
You are brave to read this yourself. These small errors will not matter.
They are strictly print issues, for you will read what you mean because of
familiarity.
Good luck.
Jackie

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jacobson, Shawn D
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2011 11:06 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: [stylist] Halloween tale

Jackie

Thanks for looking over my story.  What I will probably do is use a printed
sheet with a magnifying class.  I'm hoping I've gone over this enough that
my memory will aid me in where I am.

Below find the latest version, I think I've cleaned this up a bit.

Shawn

The Fear of Rejection
by Shawn Jacobson

 "You'd be surprised how many stories we reject are for very basic reasons
obvious lapses in science, inconsistent characters, poor grammar and things
like that" the editor said as I looked down at the drained deserted swimming
pool.  "The form rejection letter actually covers most reasons for rejecting
a story yours included."
I looked at the form letter for my latest story, but any of the myriad such
letters I'd received would have done.  "I'm not sure what basic think I
missed though.   Is it that the story has been done many times before?"
"Well" said the editor "we do see a lot of stories about aliens in human
form that eat people, but you had some interesting twists, the one about the
aliens breathing fire like dragons to cook their food was a nice touch.
Even man-eating reptile-looking aliens don't want to mess with food
poisoning.  In fact, the scene where the alien lures the hero out on the
hotel balcony to be eaten was rather well done.  Oh, I see you're
shivering," he added changing the subject "are you OK?"
"Yes" I replied "just a little chilly, I'll be OK".  In fact, I would rather
have been in the hospitality suite where it was warm grazing off the snack
table and doing damage to my diet, but the chance to talk to the famous
editor about my work was just too good an opportunity to pass up.  A chunky
gal with glue-on antennae and green face paint had been chiding me about not
being in costume when I had bumped into the editor and he invited me out to
the balcony to discuss my work.  I noticed with jealousy that the editor
didn't have to wear a costume to get respect.
The form letter seemed to glow in the ghostly lunar light as I went through
the bulleted paragraphs. "I know you like happy endings in the stories you
publish and the story ends happily for the hero even if a lot of the other
characters get lunched."
"Nothing wrong with the ending either" the editor said "in fact a lot of the
aliens had a happy ending to.  It was nice that you pointed that out.  Most
authors I run into wouldn't have bothered with what happened to the aliens;
you kind of stand out that way.  In fact, it's one reason I'm talking to you
and not all the other folks whose stories I reject.  You'd be surprised how
many stories I reject, how voracious a reader you have to be in my job.  You
also need intestinal fortitude to stomach some of the stuff I get."
"And I read that you want strong characters and extraordinary challenges; I
thought my characters were strong and quite interesting."
"Yes, yes," the editor continued, and the challenges were difficult to
surmount.' Meanwhile someone in the room said "gee it's getting chilly in
here, can someone shut the balcony door?"  A man in Klingon garb slid the
door shut, muting the raucous conversation from within.  "As I said," the
editor went on "your're characters were great, delectable as a matter of
fact; it's just that there's one basic thing that makes your story wrong for
us."
"What could that be?" I asked as another couple returned to the warmth of
their room leaving us alone in the night.  A cloud scudded across the moon
darkening the scene.  Suddenly, the stars seemed somehow closer than they
had before.
"I believe there's one bullet on the letter we haven't discussed; in fact,
if I'm not mistaken, it's the first, most important, bullet."
I looked down trying to read the letter in the light from within the hotel
room, a light repeatedly eclipsed by would be galactic citizens as they
moved about doing there thing.
"We are quite proud of our guidelines you know" continued the editor through
my attempt to read "we feel that following them is the best way to serve our
readers.  It gives them the sort of meaty stories you can sink your teeth
into, the one's we're proud to provide."
My bafflement grew as I strove to read threw the occulted light.  How could
my story, the precious fruit of my imagination, have run afoul of the first
bulleted item?  It was obvious to me that mine was the type of story that
the magazine would publish.  As I was about to give up in frustration, I
heard a ripping sound and looked up.
"You see" said the editor as he pealed the skin from his face "we only
publish science fiction."

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jacqueline Williams
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2011 1:38 PM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] A Haiku I Wrote This Morning

Shawn,
I saved this story to read it twice more. It is fascinating and the last
line gives not only surprise, but another interpretation of science fiction
to one who is an alien. I like the characters you describe. It most
certainly is timely for Halloween. 
Good luck with the reading. How do you do that?
Jackie

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jacobson, Shawn D
Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2011 8:01 AM
To: Jacobson, Shawn D; 'newmanrl at cox.net'; 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] A Haiku I Wrote This Morning

Here's a little story, about 650 words, that I plan to read at the state
convention talent show.  I trust it will fit the Halloween theme.

Shawn

The Fear of Rejection
by Shawn Jacobson

I looked down over the balcony railing at the hotel's swimming pool.
Drained and deserted in the October chill, its tiled surface collected the
light from the full moon.  The editor pulled my thoughts back to the
business at hand.
"You'd be surprised how many stories we reject are for very basic reasons
obvious lapses in science, inconsistent characters, poor grammar, things
like that.  The form rejection letter actually covers most reasons for
rejecting a story yours included"
I looked at the form letter for my latest story, but any of the myriad such
letters I'd received would have done.  "I'm not sure what basic think I
missed though.   Is it that the story has been done many times before?"
"Well" said the editor "we do see a lot of stories about aliens in human
form that eat people, but you had some interesting twists, the one about the
aliens breathing fire like dragons to cook their food was a nice point.
Even man-eating reptile-looking aliens don't want to mess with food
poisoning.  In fact, the scene where the alien bad guy lures people out on
the hotel balcony to be eaten was rather well done.  You do look cold, are
you OK?"
"Yes" I replied "just a little chilly, but the cold doesn't bother me much".
In fact, I would rather have been in the hospitality suite where it was warm
grazing off the snack table and doing damage to my diet, but the chance to
talk to the famous editor about my work was just too good an opportunity to
pass up.
I continued looking down the bullets of the form letter by the ghostly lunar
light.  "I know you like happy endings in the stories you publish and the
story ends happily for the hero even if a lot of the other characters get
lunched."
"Nothing wrong with the ending either" the editor said "in fact a lot of the
aliens had a happy ending to.  It was nice that you pointed that out.  Most
authors I run into wouldn't have bothered with what happened to the aliens;
you kind of stand out that way.  In fact, it's one reason I'm talking to you
and not all the other folks whose stories I reject.  You'd be surprised how
voracious a reader you have to be in my job.  You also need a cast-iron
stomach to deal with the stories that are hard to swallow."
"And I read that you want strong characters and extraordinary challenges; I
thought my characters were strong and quite interesting."
"Yes, yes," the editor continued, and the challenges were difficult to
surmount.' Meanwhile someone in the room said "gee it's getting chilly in
here, how about I shut the balcony door;" as the door slid shut, the raucous
conversation from within was muted.  "As I said, the characters were great,
delectable as a matter of fact; it's just that one basic thing that makes
your story wrong for us."
"What could that be?" I asked as a cloud scudded across the moon darkening
the scene.  Across the way, another couple returned to the warmth of their
room leaving us alone in the night.  Suddenly, the stars seemed somehow
closer than they really were.
"I thank there's one bullet on the letter you haven't discussed; in fact,
it's the first bullet if I'm not mistaken."
I looked down trying to read the letter in the uncertain light from within
the hotel room, a light repeatedly blocked by conventioneers moving about.
My bafflement  grew as I strove to read threw the shadows.  How could my
story, the precious work of my imagination, have failed this test.  As I was
about to vent my frustration, I heard a ripping sound and looked up.
"You see" said the editor as he pealed the skin from his face "we only
publish science fiction."

-----Original Message-----
From: Jacobson, Shawn D 
Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 1:19 PM
To: 'newmanrl at cox.net'; 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: RE: [stylist] A Haiku I Wrote This Morning

Robert

Thanks for asking, but I think I need to take care of this myself.

I'm getting ready to perform my treasurer duties at State convention
(October 28th through 30th in Ocean City); I've also been asked to do a
short reading during the Friday evening talent show/story telling contest.

I took my son to the local science fiction convention over the weekend but
had to leave early Saturday to help at the scholarship fundraiser that
evening.  And around all that I had to work laundry, mowing the lawn etc.

Anyway, I hope to get more active (with a story or two) once the smoke
clears.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Robert Leslie Newman
Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 11:02 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] A Haiku I Wrote This Morning

Gee, Shawn! Anything we can help with?

(Good poem, I could follow it.)

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jacobson, Shawn D
Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 9:16 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] A Haiku I Wrote This Morning

And here's a haiku that kind-of explains my absence from the list of late.

Mighty flood of life
That sweeps me to the future
In vain I struggle.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Homme, James
Sent: Friday, October 14, 2011 4:03 PM
To: Homme, James
Subject: [stylist] A Haiku I Wrote This Morning

Harvest

How many layers
in my onion? pealing prompts
pain, pleasure, my core.

Jim

Jim Homme,
Usability Services,
Phone: 412-544-1810.

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