[stylist] major rewrite

[Shelley J. Alongi]

Nice. Love it. Thanks for sending it. Good luck with yor submission.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Brenda" <bjnite at windstream.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 27, 2011 10:29 AM
Subject: [stylist] major rewrite


>     Hi again List
>
> I did a major rewrite.  the only reason I'm sending it again is in case 
> someone is taking the time to read an older version.  I will not make a 
> habit of this.  I am learning how to handle submitting and also nuts and 
> bolts like my no spaces after periods issue which may be somewhat solved. 
> Also, as a result of my goal of developing my writing skills, I am 
> seriously considering enrolling in the Hadley Braille course and probably 
> the punctuation course.  This is a direct result of my contact with this 
> list.
>
> Below is my rewrite - please disregard if I am being tedious/annoying.  I 
> just wanted to save someone from reading an older version.Getting the 
> Halloween Candy
> Halloween was only three days away and we had no candy.  What is the use 
> of buying a bunch of candy when it will probably be raining and no 
> trick-or-treaters will show up, I thought.    My husband, who on most days 
> avoided the rain, braved the downpour and headed for the car.  Seizing the 
> chance to get out from behind the computer I grabbed my raincoat and 
> headed out the door before he could pull out of the driveway.
>
> "God is great and beer is good and people are crazy" drowned out the 
> pounding drops on the roof of the   car.  Not very Halloweenish, but I 
> never have heard The Monster mash on a country station.
>
> My husband parked the car, and we dodged puddles as we made our way into 
> the store.
>
> "Maybe we should get some beer."  I said to my husband as we entered the 
> store.
>
> "We're here to get candy for the trick-or-treaters."  He said drying his 
> glasses.
>
> We really need to get some beer or maybe just listen to the song by Billy 
> Currington again, I decided.
>
> Smells of rotisserie chicken and baked goods filled the air and my mouth 
> began to water.  Moving my white cane from one side to the other, I 
> followed the blur ahead of me to the candy isle at the other end of the 
> store before my stomach could wake up and growl.
>
> Then I heard it, the unmistakable sound of peanut brittle calling me. 
> Seeing little more than the bright lights in the store and the blur of 
> shelves, I began to turn first right, and then left, listening as the 
> sound got louder and louder.  Feeling a chill as other shoppers left the 
> store, I stopped to zip my coat and turned right in hot pursuit of the 
> peanut brittle.  Back and forth went my cane like a windshield wiper 
> protecting me from carts and store displays.
>
> The smell of peanuts joined the shouting of PEANUT BRITTLE, PEANUT BRITTLE 
> and my mouth began to water and my stomach growled as I found my prize. 
> Holding the plastic box carefully, I walked to a center isle near the 
> checkout line where my husband could spot me.
>
> "Where'd you go?"  I turned around and you weren't anywhere to be found."
>
> "The peanut brittle was calling me and I had to get some. I got it for us 
> to snack on while we hand out the trick-or-treat candy."
>
> We proceeded to the checkout line and out into the drizzle in search of 
> our car.
>
> "Hurry up and turn on the heat." I said shaking the peanut brittle as I 
> shivered.
>
> My husband dumped the  three bags of Tootsie Rolls in the back seat and 
> closed the door.
>
> "Only if you give me some peanut brittle."
>
> The smell of fresh peanuts filled the car as we crunched the sugary bark. 
> By the time we arrived at home, the box was half full, and only crumbs 
> remained by the next day.
> On Halloween night, we handed out candy to a steady stream of 
> trick-or-treaters until there were no more tootsie rolls.  It was a good 
> thing we ate all of the peanut brittle because there was no time for 
> munching  and no leftover candy to snack on.
>
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