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[Brad Dunse']

This is a very good point Chris. When folks react as such it gives 
the rest of the world the impression we've got sour grapes about our 
lives and everyone around it, that "geez, blind folks must be really 
bad off to be that angry. Man, it sucks to be them huh?". How can I 
make this assumption? Because when I attended blindness training, 
still seeing quite good but knowing what was down the pike for me, I 
had an instructor who would sometimes  be quite rude to folks trying 
to help, and they weren't even being out of line really. and so I 
thought just this way. From a sighted person's  perspective I was 
really taken back by this person's reaction. Of course as I became 
more reliant on alternatigve techniques and cane travel I ran into 
the ignorant as well, but this person's reaction has stuck with me 
all these years in that it was something I vowed not to do. I will 
make a joke that has a definite point to it to let the person know 
"all is good" and they are overkilling the  situation but done in 
such a way that doesn't leave them feeling like an outsider or chump. 
We all can laugh at ourselves kind of thing.  Either that or if I'm 
with a friend I'll rib him about something like  "Watch out for this 
guy, he's nothing but trouble, they assigned me to him to keep him 
straight and quite franklhy mam I worked up  a healthy appetite." 
Many times it is best to take the initiative rather than wait for 
someone to have opportunity to get nervous about how to act or what 
to say around a blind person, I'll initiate the interaction giving 
the distinct impression I'm in charge of it.  From a visual 
standpoint they base assumptions on what they "see" when we walk in a 
room or how we conduct ourselves.  For example if we were to 
confidently stroll into a restaurant, chin up, smiling at the 
waitress or host, they might ask if we need an elbow or perhaps 
just  walk ahead and ask you to follow waiting  to see if any further 
assistance is needed. Maybe while sitting, ask for a cup of coffee 
to  start off, maybe if they have Braille menus, or ask what the 
special of the day is... some subtle way of  taking initiative as 
anyone else walking through the door would do. they will begin to 
assume you're cool and all is well. If on the other hand we walk in 
sheepishly, slumped and awkward, hugging the wall  with our back and 
arms out stretched each side of us bumping into everything on the 
way, apologizing each time, silencing the ever watching room, not 
having a reasonable travel skil set, the waitress is likely going to 
lean over, talk in loud  tones and ask you if you want them to chew 
your food for you when it comes. Obviusly this is way out there 
but  extremes help me see points more clearly  :).


  If however, someone is just being purposefully condesending, you 
know make you feel smaller so they feel taller, I will act 
accordingly but that is no different than prior to my blindness. Your 
friend unfortunately only encouraged the waitress'  impression blind 
folks are bad off. Instead of  ignorantly asking to help in the 
future, the waitress will likely talk to fellow workers in the 
kitchen how they  don't want to wait on that blind guy out there 
because last time she got  ripped on pretty good when she tried to 
help and. "Well here I go, wish me luck". . So we switch one wrong 
impression of blind folks for another.  That said, yes it sure can be 
a challenge and who of us is perfect anyway with an unblemished track 
record, so hopefully your friend was just having a rough go of it and 
an uneducated, stereo typing, assuming waitress was recipient of it 
:). It happens to everyone, sighted and blind alike.

Brad


On 9/2/2011  08:04 AM Chris Kuell said...
>Hey Bridgit,
>
>Great post. I don't know how well your sighted readers will relate, 
>but your blind readers certainly will. I'm curious about how most of 
>us react to such a situation. I generally try to take the 
>opportunity to educate people when I can, but often it doesn't 
>work--as I'm sure you know. Other times I don't say anything, as we 
>encounter public ignorance so often sometimes I'm just too tired to 
>deal with it. I have a blind friend who generally gets annoyed, and 
>often sends back sharp barbs to the ignorant party in situations 
>like this. I can remember being out to lunch with her and a waitress 
>asked if we needed our food cut up (I kid you not). I don't remember 
>exactly what my friend said, but it contained two or three F bombs 
>and an offer to cut up the waitresses food if she needed it. I don't 
>care for this over-reaction because it leaves the waitress (and 
>others around us) with the impression that blind people are not only 
>ungrateful, but crazy.
>
>Anyway, just some thoughts.
>
>chris
>
>
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Brad Dunse

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