[stylist] Writing exercise, Brad Dunce

Thu Sep 22 20:14:38 UTC 2011

Jacqueline,

I think you  did a wonderful job  on your assignment. You  painted a 
very concise picture of the scene. Not really sure I ought be 
referenced in there in leading anything, but I'm glad my musings 
somehow got you to think and take an action to write.  Your line of:

"a well of goodness. On the rare occasion the intent is cruelty,"

Reminded me that if or when a cruel word or action is done to us, the 
blind? It just reminds me that we are indeed just like anyone else in 
the world. I recall in my adjustment to blindness training years ago, 
walking down a snow covered sidewalk in downtown Minneapolis I heard 
a guy talking to his wife... "yeah as soon as this blind ___hole" 
gets out of the way. While walking there I thought, "Why you bugger, 
can't you see I'.... wait a minute. Wait a dog gone minute here. That 
is something he'd have said to anyone who was  in front of him on the 
single lane footpath of unshoveled sidewalks... how cool is that!" 
Similar was a threat from some gang banger if I walked to the back of 
the bus near him haahha. I walked back there and he did nothing. 
Point is even if we're treated cruelly, people are treated that way 
everyday no matter who they are, it is the pity extracted from the 
ones who  might say "Did you see that, he picked on that poor blind 
man like that", which we need be more concerned with.

Anyway so you got me thinking as well. Good job.

Brad

On 9/22/2011  01:52 PM Brenda said...
>Jacqueline, I really enjoyed reading this.  Brad's post was long and 
>meaty (yummy) while yours was short and concise for a quick inspiration.
>Brenda
>
>On 9/22/2011 2:39 PM, Jacqueline Williams wrote:
>>Dear Brad,
>>
>>It takes me awhile to respond.
>>
>>Your well-written article and the many responses, presented a challenge to
>>me. As a poet pretender, to put an idea, or many, as the discussion proved,
>>into a small size carrying the punch, or a summary of all in a concise form,
>>was my assignment this morning. Tell me if you think I got it.
>>I send this to myself first, and it seemed to retain the format. When I
>>pasted it into this e-mail to you, it became double and triple spaced. Keep
>>that in mind as you read it. Sorry.
>>Thank you for writing such an informative and inspiring article.
>>
>>
>>
>>Blinded by Sight
>>
>>
>>
>>Some cannot see the qualities, the inner spirit,
>>
>>the intelligence-hampered as they are by sight-
>>
>>of the blind, the deaf, the not pretty or handicapped.
>>
>>A source of guilt? Fear of not knowing what to do,
>>
>>or how to help?
>>
>>
>>
>>We, the recipients of these myriad emotions, have
>>
>>but one responsibility to these others, and ourselves-
>>
>>to discover intent and know that almost always it is
>>
>>a well of goodness. On the rare occasion the intent is cruelty,
>>
>>we must move through rancor by further self-understanding:
>>
>>stress? ego? pride? criticism of ignorance?
>>
>>No reproofs are necessary, just gentle statements
>>
>>of what help would be beneficial, given back
>>
>>with patience and love for any concern shown.
>>
>>
>>
>>Time will move on as well as progress.
>>
>>In spaces in-between, we have our Helen Kellers,
>>
>>our mountain climbers, our Roberts, Brads and Bridgets-
>>
>>so many others, to light our way.
>>
>>
>>
>>C Jacqueline Williams
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>Behalf Of Brad Dunse'
>>Sent: Tuesday, September 20, 2011 7:13 AM
>>To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>>Subject: [stylist] Writing exercise
>>
>>Just some thoghts as an exercise in writing, editing, re-writing, etc....
>>
>>Walking Mirrors
>>By Brad Dunse
>>
>>Over twenty years ago I was diagnosed with
>>Retinitis Pigmentosa. From that day forward life
>>has been an incredible journey of personal
>>heartbreak, discovery, growth, joy, success, and
>>a host of life learning experiences.
>>
>>One such continual lesson is the journey of
>>personal behavior in reaction to events
>>surrounding us and the conduct of others. How and
>>why people, specifically me, react the way we do in certain life situations.
>>
>>Particular to this writing is my reaction to the
>>varying affects we have as blind individuals on
>>the garden variety sighted human. Why the varied
>>responses to our personal exchange with them out
>>on the street, in the workplace, or grocery store?
>>
>>What compels one person to physically grab your
>>white cane, attempting to pull it in the
>>direction they'd like you to go, while yet
>>another will carry on a walking conversation
>>without concern a cane is even present?
>>
>>Why is it one person will awkwardly try to help,
>>leaving you witness to their spilled purses,
>>dropped grocery bags, or crashed shopping carts
>>as pseudo-heroics cause them to trip for the door
>>prior to your reaching for it, while another
>>honestly addresses the elephant in the room
>>admitting they've never encountered a blind
>>person before so if help is needed they'll just rely on you to say so.
>>
>>Why is it one waitress will ask your dinner-mate
>>what it is you want off the menu as if you were
>>an incapable toddler, while another will simply
>>pull a pencil from behind the ear, flip a page
>>back off the notepad, poke the pencil down on the
>>paper, look at you and say "OK Hun, what can I get you".
>>
>>When I first came to learning about blindness,
>>having much usable vision myself and carrying a
>>sighted person's  perspective, I may not have
>>known or even thought of how I might handle
>>myself in the company of a blind individual, but
>>without question I'd treat them with dignity and
>>respect   the same manner I try to treat anyone.
>>
>>In that same time frame I observed tirades from
>>blind individuals as a result of their frustrated
>>reaction to stereotypes and assumptions from
>>people they met on the streets treating them like helpless dotes.
>>
>>I remember one incident involving a blind lady I
>>knew who was getting on a city bus. A fellow
>>passenger offered to help her. And in this
>>particular case the individual trying to help was
>>really not that far out of line in my opinion,
>>more chivalrous than patronizing. . Nonetheless
>>the blind woman's demeanor horrifically snapped
>>in front of the entire busload of people, really
>>letting the well intentioned passenger have it
>>good.  That scene was indelibly etched in my mind
>>and caused me a considerable amount of
>>consternation. Though I was disappointed by the
>>reaction of this woman positioned as mentor, I
>>was not judgmental of her, I was simply trying to
>>understand her response to a well-meaning person.
>>
>>Of course over time I learned more about mobility
>>skills and encountering  sighted folks who
>>reacted out of ignorance. Often times these
>>encounters take on  a belittling atmosphere of
>>social helplessness, gaining intensity as well as
>>audience  the more it  is allowed to continue. I
>>began to understand how shear repetition of
>>having to deal with it could become quite annoying.
>>
>>The woman on the bus whose temper exploded at the
>>well-meaning passenger reminded me of the very
>>first time I got on an email discussion list as a
>>new information highway passenger. My very first
>>mass internet communication and I was excited to
>>be trying this new medium out, it was going to be awesome.
>>
>>Not long after subscribing, a net acquaintance of
>>mine forwarded me one of those virus warnings.
>>You know one of the hoaxes out there  which some
>>folks are driven to pass along. just in case?
>>Well? Knowing no better I passed it straight up
>>to the email list like a good helpful,
>>responsible and yes ignorant person might do.
>>Within minutes I was berated in front of the
>>entire list, pretty badly I might add.
>>
>>I was quite angry, upset and even hurt. I was
>>only trying to help, just trying to be a
>>responsible person because seeing someone fall
>>prey to this so called virus when I could avoid it was not pleasurable.
>>
>>My first reaction was to assume "Geez! People on
>>these email lists are rude, angry and just not
>>very nice people at all. If that's the way they
>>are going to be, I'll let them to their own
>>misery!" Of course over time and many discussion
>>memberships later, I learned how often  virus
>>forwards occurred and how it took up people's
>>valuable time. Such posts  become repetitious
>>aggravations, which this person happened to have
>>had just one too many such posts with mine.
>>
>>After the fact, like the person sending the nasty
>>email, I understood the reason for the fellow
>>blind person's over reaction on the bus. Still, I
>>vowed I did not want to give that first
>>impression to someone trying to help. Even if
>>their help was out of ignorance just like I was
>>with my virus warning. Even if  it was out of a
>>needless sense of pity or inappropriate sense of
>>superiority, I did not want to just hand over my
>>emotional control to someone by hyper-reacting to
>>their behavior. Neither did I want to make them
>>feel as I had   with my well-meaning yet ignorant post to the discussion
>>list.
>>
>>I then began to question and discover why this
>>happens. Why the differing reactions like the
>>ones mentioned earlier?  Maybe I'm wrong, maybe
>>it is uniquely limited to my experience, or
>>perhaps living these years as a blind person has
>>yet to teach me more in this area. Or in fact
>>maybe it is merely a perspective that isn't an
>>absolute but a generalization which serves my
>>purpose for my own outcomes and education of dealing with such sighted
>>folks.
>>
>>At any rate  I've come to believe that to others
>>we are not blind people at all. They really do
>>not see "us" as blind people. What they do see is
>>"themselves" as a blind person in our encounter
>>with them. What do I mean? The reason they react
>>as they do is sort of a dual mirror. They see a
>>blind person across the street happily tapping
>>along a sidewalk for instance. What they also see
>>ten feet directly in front is the stone planter
>>smack dab in the middle of the sidewalk. However,
>>what they really see is themselves as the blind
>>person based on their own lack of experiential
>>reference and knowledge. They know without a
>>doubt if they were that blind person, there would
>>be one heck of a bloody crash. To avoid their
>>feeling this way, they holler across traffic
>>"Watch out for the planter in front of you!" As
>>if you were to inherently know they are talking
>>to you in the first place. You see they don't see
>>"us", but they see "themselves" as the blind person in our shoes.
>>
>>The second mirror is this. Remember the person
>>who grabbed your white cane to direct you while
>>in a walking conversation? Conversely do you
>>remember the person in the same situation that
>>didn't give your blindness a second thought?
>>Think about those two people for a minute. Was
>>the one grabbing for the cane a weak type of
>>person who is a bit insecure? A bit unsure in
>>life? One who   is themselves dependent  ? A
>>person a bit undecided in life?  A soul ambling
>>through life directed by situations surrounding them?
>>
>>Or perhaps the opposite side of the same coin,
>>someone with a know-it-all facade? Someone with a
>>quiet or bold  attitude of superiority?
>>One  appearing to be strong by always being
>>right? Someone over the top in bold dominancy?
>>These types  are likely over compensating for
>>those same insecurities as those outwardly
>>appearing weak, just in a quite different way.
>>
>>What then about the person who carried on
>>oblivious to the cane and its  meaning as they
>>continued walking and talking with you? What can
>>we say about them? Were they a solid silent type?
>>Someone fairly sure of themselves? A competent
>>person? A risk taker perhaps? Someone who enjoys
>>a challenge? Perhaps themselves balanced in
>>independency? A methodically confident person? My
>>guess is they probably are some combination of these traits.
>>
>>Respective to the above types, the same can be
>>said for the one tripping over themselves to open
>>a door, and the opposing one who exposed the
>>apparent elephant in the room. Also the same for
>>the waiter or waitress that asked your
>>dinner-mate what you want for dinner or to drink,
>>compared to the pencil wielding waitress with the no nonsense attitude.
>>
>>So what is the usefulness  in knowing this? For
>>me at least, it is tremendously helpful to
>>understand another person while in conversation
>>or doing daily business. I am forever reading
>>other people, unfortunately forgetting their name
>>two seconds after we meet because I'd been
>>reading what they are really about the whole
>>while.  But for me to understand who they are and
>>why they do what they do is tantamount to helping
>>me react in a way that will empower or positively
>>enable me to utilize the encounter to my
>>emotional or future advantage. Even if it serves
>>the purpose I won't lose control, fly off the
>>handle in the moment, or get sarcastic or terse
>>with them, even if it simply keeps me on top of
>>the conversation or situation, because I know
>>when I get out of control, invariably fear is present someplace.
>>
>>I really have nothing to fear encountering any
>>type of insecure sighted person as a blind
>>individual, and can remain  in control through my
>>own security. As a result I am free to treat
>>them  in a more constructive manner.
>>
>>So you see we are really just walking mirrors
>>which when other's see us, they see themselves
>>based on their own security or insecurity in
>>life, and in the process enables us to  see their
>>reflection of themselves with the advantage of
>>handling the situation to our emotional gain. We
>>decide for ourselves who really needs the pity or
>>help in the situation and conduct ourselves
>>accordingly. It really is a humorous trick on our
>>part, but since they've initiated it with their
>>response to our presence, why not finish it using
>>it to our gain, and truthfully the good of all.
>>
>>C2011 Brad Dunse
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Brad Dunse
>>
>>"Write like you mean it and sing like nobody's watching" --Ben Wakeman
>>
>>http://www.braddunsemusic.com
>>
>>http://www.facebook.com/braddunse
>>
>>http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
>>
>>
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Brad Dunse

Concerned about the expense of your life destination?
...If you don't flat out enjoy the journey, it already costs too 
much. --Capt'n Frank

http://www.braddunsemusic.com

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