[stylist] Writing exercise, Brad Dunce

[Brenda]

Jacqueline, I really enjoyed reading this.  Brad's post was long and 
meaty (yummy) while yours was short and concise for a quick inspiration.
Brenda

On 9/22/2011 2:39 PM, Jacqueline Williams wrote:
> Dear Brad,
>
> It takes me awhile to respond.
>
> Your well-written article and the many responses, presented a challenge to
> me. As a poet pretender, to put an idea, or many, as the discussion proved,
> into a small size carrying the punch, or a summary of all in a concise form,
> was my assignment this morning. Tell me if you think I got it.
> I send this to myself first, and it seemed to retain the format. When I
> pasted it into this e-mail to you, it became double and triple spaced. Keep
> that in mind as you read it. Sorry.
> Thank you for writing such an informative and inspiring article.
>
>
>
> Blinded by Sight
>
>
>
> Some cannot see the qualities, the inner spirit,
>
> the intelligence-hampered as they are by sight-
>
> of the blind, the deaf, the not pretty or handicapped.
>
> A source of guilt? Fear of not knowing what to do,
>
> or how to help?
>
>
>
> We, the recipients of these myriad emotions, have
>
> but one responsibility to these others, and ourselves-
>
> to discover intent and know that almost always it is
>
> a well of goodness. On the rare occasion the intent is cruelty,
>
> we must move through rancor by further self-understanding:
>
> stress? ego? pride? criticism of ignorance?
>
> No reproofs are necessary, just gentle statements
>
> of what help would be beneficial, given back
>
> with patience and love for any concern shown.
>
>
>
> Time will move on as well as progress.
>
> In spaces in-between, we have our Helen Kellers,
>
> our mountain climbers, our Roberts, Brads and Bridgets-
>
> so many others, to light our way.
>
>
>
> C Jacqueline Williams
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Brad Dunse'
> Sent: Tuesday, September 20, 2011 7:13 AM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: [stylist] Writing exercise
>
> Just some thoghts as an exercise in writing, editing, re-writing, etc....
>
> Walking Mirrors
> By Brad Dunse
>
> Over twenty years ago I was diagnosed with
> Retinitis Pigmentosa. From that day forward life
> has been an incredible journey of personal
> heartbreak, discovery, growth, joy, success, and
> a host of life learning experiences.
>
> One such continual lesson is the journey of
> personal behavior in reaction to events
> surrounding us and the conduct of others. How and
> why people, specifically me, react the way we do in certain life situations.
>
> Particular to this writing is my reaction to the
> varying affects we have as blind individuals on
> the garden variety sighted human. Why the varied
> responses to our personal exchange with them out
> on the street, in the workplace, or grocery store?
>
> What compels one person to physically grab your
> white cane, attempting to pull it in the
> direction they'd like you to go, while yet
> another will carry on a walking conversation
> without concern a cane is even present?
>
> Why is it one person will awkwardly try to help,
> leaving you witness to their spilled purses,
> dropped grocery bags, or crashed shopping carts
> as pseudo-heroics cause them to trip for the door
> prior to your reaching for it, while another
> honestly addresses the elephant in the room
> admitting they've never encountered a blind
> person before so if help is needed they'll just rely on you to say so.
>
> Why is it one waitress will ask your dinner-mate
> what it is you want off the menu as if you were
> an incapable toddler, while another will simply
> pull a pencil from behind the ear, flip a page
> back off the notepad, poke the pencil down on the
> paper, look at you and say "OK Hun, what can I get you".
>
> When I first came to learning about blindness,
> having much usable vision myself and carrying a
> sighted person's  perspective, I may not have
> known or even thought of how I might handle
> myself in the company of a blind individual, but
> without question I'd treat them with dignity and
> respect   the same manner I try to treat anyone.
>
> In that same time frame I observed tirades from
> blind individuals as a result of their frustrated
> reaction to stereotypes and assumptions from
> people they met on the streets treating them like helpless dotes.
>
> I remember one incident involving a blind lady I
> knew who was getting on a city bus. A fellow
> passenger offered to help her. And in this
> particular case the individual trying to help was
> really not that far out of line in my opinion,
> more chivalrous than patronizing. . Nonetheless
> the blind woman's demeanor horrifically snapped
> in front of the entire busload of people, really
> letting the well intentioned passenger have it
> good.  That scene was indelibly etched in my mind
> and caused me a considerable amount of
> consternation. Though I was disappointed by the
> reaction of this woman positioned as mentor, I
> was not judgmental of her, I was simply trying to
> understand her response to a well-meaning person.
>
> Of course over time I learned more about mobility
> skills and encountering  sighted folks who
> reacted out of ignorance. Often times these
> encounters take on  a belittling atmosphere of
> social helplessness, gaining intensity as well as
> audience  the more it  is allowed to continue. I
> began to understand how shear repetition of
> having to deal with it could become quite annoying.
>
> The woman on the bus whose temper exploded at the
> well-meaning passenger reminded me of the very
> first time I got on an email discussion list as a
> new information highway passenger. My very first
> mass internet communication and I was excited to
> be trying this new medium out, it was going to be awesome.
>
> Not long after subscribing, a net acquaintance of
> mine forwarded me one of those virus warnings.
> You know one of the hoaxes out there  which some
> folks are driven to pass along. just in case?
> Well? Knowing no better I passed it straight up
> to the email list like a good helpful,
> responsible and yes ignorant person might do.
> Within minutes I was berated in front of the
> entire list, pretty badly I might add.
>
> I was quite angry, upset and even hurt. I was
> only trying to help, just trying to be a
> responsible person because seeing someone fall
> prey to this so called virus when I could avoid it was not pleasurable.
>
> My first reaction was to assume "Geez! People on
> these email lists are rude, angry and just not
> very nice people at all. If that's the way they
> are going to be, I'll let them to their own
> misery!" Of course over time and many discussion
> memberships later, I learned how often  virus
> forwards occurred and how it took up people's
> valuable time. Such posts  become repetitious
> aggravations, which this person happened to have
> had just one too many such posts with mine.
>
> After the fact, like the person sending the nasty
> email, I understood the reason for the fellow
> blind person's over reaction on the bus. Still, I
> vowed I did not want to give that first
> impression to someone trying to help. Even if
> their help was out of ignorance just like I was
> with my virus warning. Even if  it was out of a
> needless sense of pity or inappropriate sense of
> superiority, I did not want to just hand over my
> emotional control to someone by hyper-reacting to
> their behavior. Neither did I want to make them
> feel as I had   with my well-meaning yet ignorant post to the discussion
> list.
>
> I then began to question and discover why this
> happens. Why the differing reactions like the
> ones mentioned earlier?  Maybe I'm wrong, maybe
> it is uniquely limited to my experience, or
> perhaps living these years as a blind person has
> yet to teach me more in this area. Or in fact
> maybe it is merely a perspective that isn't an
> absolute but a generalization which serves my
> purpose for my own outcomes and education of dealing with such sighted
> folks.
>
> At any rate  I've come to believe that to others
> we are not blind people at all. They really do
> not see "us" as blind people. What they do see is
> "themselves" as a blind person in our encounter
> with them. What do I mean? The reason they react
> as they do is sort of a dual mirror. They see a
> blind person across the street happily tapping
> along a sidewalk for instance. What they also see
> ten feet directly in front is the stone planter
> smack dab in the middle of the sidewalk. However,
> what they really see is themselves as the blind
> person based on their own lack of experiential
> reference and knowledge. They know without a
> doubt if they were that blind person, there would
> be one heck of a bloody crash. To avoid their
> feeling this way, they holler across traffic
> "Watch out for the planter in front of you!" As
> if you were to inherently know they are talking
> to you in the first place. You see they don't see
> "us", but they see "themselves" as the blind person in our shoes.
>
> The second mirror is this. Remember the person
> who grabbed your white cane to direct you while
> in a walking conversation? Conversely do you
> remember the person in the same situation that
> didn't give your blindness a second thought?
> Think about those two people for a minute. Was
> the one grabbing for the cane a weak type of
> person who is a bit insecure? A bit unsure in
> life? One who   is themselves dependent  ? A
> person a bit undecided in life?  A soul ambling
> through life directed by situations surrounding them?
>
> Or perhaps the opposite side of the same coin,
> someone with a know-it-all facade? Someone with a
> quiet or bold  attitude of superiority?
> One  appearing to be strong by always being
> right? Someone over the top in bold dominancy?
> These types  are likely over compensating for
> those same insecurities as those outwardly
> appearing weak, just in a quite different way.
>
> What then about the person who carried on
> oblivious to the cane and its  meaning as they
> continued walking and talking with you? What can
> we say about them? Were they a solid silent type?
> Someone fairly sure of themselves? A competent
> person? A risk taker perhaps? Someone who enjoys
> a challenge? Perhaps themselves balanced in
> independency? A methodically confident person? My
> guess is they probably are some combination of these traits.
>
> Respective to the above types, the same can be
> said for the one tripping over themselves to open
> a door, and the opposing one who exposed the
> apparent elephant in the room. Also the same for
> the waiter or waitress that asked your
> dinner-mate what you want for dinner or to drink,
> compared to the pencil wielding waitress with the no nonsense attitude.
>
> So what is the usefulness  in knowing this? For
> me at least, it is tremendously helpful to
> understand another person while in conversation
> or doing daily business. I am forever reading
> other people, unfortunately forgetting their name
> two seconds after we meet because I'd been
> reading what they are really about the whole
> while.  But for me to understand who they are and
> why they do what they do is tantamount to helping
> me react in a way that will empower or positively
> enable me to utilize the encounter to my
> emotional or future advantage. Even if it serves
> the purpose I won't lose control, fly off the
> handle in the moment, or get sarcastic or terse
> with them, even if it simply keeps me on top of
> the conversation or situation, because I know
> when I get out of control, invariably fear is present someplace.
>
> I really have nothing to fear encountering any
> type of insecure sighted person as a blind
> individual, and can remain  in control through my
> own security. As a result I am free to treat
> them  in a more constructive manner.
>
> So you see we are really just walking mirrors
> which when other's see us, they see themselves
> based on their own security or insecurity in
> life, and in the process enables us to  see their
> reflection of themselves with the advantage of
> handling the situation to our emotional gain. We
> decide for ourselves who really needs the pity or
> help in the situation and conduct ourselves
> accordingly. It really is a humorous trick on our
> part, but since they've initiated it with their
> response to our presence, why not finish it using
> it to our gain, and truthfully the good of all.
>
> C2011 Brad Dunse
>
>
>
>
> Brad Dunse
>
> "Write like you mean it and sing like nobody's watching" --Ben Wakeman
>
> http://www.braddunsemusic.com
>
> http://www.facebook.com/braddunse
>
> http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
>
>
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