[stylist] please jell me if this is a good poem

[Andi]

I like it.  I don't like the mother, but then you are not suppose to like
all characters lol.  I enjoyed your sonnet.

Andi

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of vejas
Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 7:17 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] please jell me if this is a good poem

Hi,
For school I have to write a Shakesperian sonnet.  Our teacher said we
didn't have to do it in iambic pentameter, but that we had to have the
rhyming in an about-about-could-could-ef-ef-gg fashion.
I wrote this poem and it's supposed to be about a mother lecting her son.
But I think it sort of drifts.  Please tell me your opinion.

Why didn't you do the many chores,
That you were supposed to do last night?
I've told you, for quite a few scores,
That you just have to fix the light.
Your laziness is such a curse...
Do you realize what you could've had?

Yes, it could have been much worse,
If it weren't for me and your dad.
Why, yes, you were adopted out,
When you were just a little boy,
But really it was, without a doubt,
A life you would not have enjoyed.
Just know I want the best,
Now go to sleep and rest.
Thanks for comments.
Vejas

_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.net <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>

stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/adrianne.dempsey%40gmai
l.com