[stylist] Comments on external description exercise

[Chris Kuell]

Thanks for the comments, Bridgit and Andi. If I were grading myself, I'd 
have to give myself a C, since I didn't exactly follow the instructions. I 
enjoyed both of your exercises as well.
Andi, you did a nice job placing us in a city scene. Lots of hustle and 
bustle.
Bridgit, you drew us an intriguing picture of a young lady with lots of 
bucks. I know the exercise was to use descriptive words, and this you did. 
It's probably just my personal preference, but I don't really care for 
brand-name dropping. One or two is fine, but I prefer to hear that he wore a 
gold watch with diamonds instead of numbers rather than he wore an expensive 
Rolex.
Shawn, your exercise was brief but well written.
Barbara, I enjoyed your exercise response as well. You set it up with the 
first line and then delivered. If I were to offer some advice, which I'll do 
since it seems you genuinely want to improve your writing, it would be to 
add some specific details to your scene. The crack of a bat hitting a 
baseball. Girls chanting, "...sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G..."A teacher 
off in one corner of the playground, chatting with her fiancee on the phone. 
Cerulean sky was very nice--made me look up my first word of the week!

chris