[stylist] More comments on please read my blog

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Jackie,

As always, you are far too kind, grin.

Though this is Ross's and mine's first biological child, we have been
parents for almost three years. Our niece, Penny, on my side, has been a
huge part of our life. My sister was pregnant with Penny while still in
high school. We initially were going to adopt her, and actually had her
for a short time after being born. Alas, my sister craved into some
pressure, married the father and decided to not adopt Penny out. It was
devestating for Ross and I especially, since at the time, we were told a
natural pregnancy wasn't possible. Regardless, we remained, and still
do, extremely close to Penny. It goes above and beyond the normal aunt
an uncle role. To this day, Penny calls me mama, and she has her own
room at our house. She even took her first steps for me, smile, and for
the longest time, her biological father couldn't calm her or sooth her,
and in fact, there were plenty of times when she refused to go to him at
all, but Ross has always been a solid father figure to Pen who still
takes so naturally to him. I find it quite sexy how he has developed
these fathering instincts, ha-ha! What is it for us gals about a dad?

In the past two-and-a-half years, there's been very few weekends where
we didn't have her for the entire weekend. So the mommy and daddy role
has been ever present for Ross and I, though pregnancy has been an
entirely new experience, smile. And the day-in and day-out care of a
child who is with you daily will be a bit of an adjustment as well, but
I say all this to illustrate that, while I have plenty to work on and
learn, Ross and I have developed a few parenting skills, and I've had
the opportunity to learn that with kids, you just have to go with the
flow, grin. Not that it isn't difficult for me at times especially when
it comes to messes and clutter, but I know how important it is to relax
and just take things as they happen. And that spending quality time with
your kids is worth more than anything. I also had, let's just say, not
the greatest of childhoods. Among some more damaging memories, I had a
mother who didn't always like playing. She wasn't a great nurturer
either, and I have learned from my past. I too don't always give Penny
the play time she deserves, and I end up feeling guilty about this, but
I try to balance time and prioritize tasks, and I hope to get better
with our son. 

I'm also rather proud to have discovered that I am quite the nurturer
and as it turns out, I have a ton of patience where my kids are
concerned, smile. I was fearful certain behaviors would be passed down
to me, but so far, I don't seem to have developed some of the behaviors
I was always so scared about it; the least being not having patience or
a loving demeanor. 

Anyway, your advice is much needed and great. I hope to learn from any
mother as I also follow my own instincts. As always, Jackie, thanks.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 1
Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:07:44 -0700
From: "Jacqueline Williams" <jackieleepoet at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Comment on please read my blog
Message-ID: <15DED34A17AF44878D5C00E398001C04 at JackiLeePoet>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="us-ascii"

Bridgit,
I had meant to say "cellulitis" when speaking of my mother, and somehow
substituted cystitis, which is quite different. Your treatment is
consistent with what my mother went through. She did recover but had to
remain vigilant. You are fortunate that the little one shows no ill
effects. As for perfectionism,  I really appreciate your frankness in
addressing the problem. An interesting story about my dilemma- When I
applied for a teaching position in Mesa with a particular principal, he
announced at the end of the interview that he would never hire a
university graduate with a straight A history. I left with my hopes
dashed. He had said that straight A' would be a perfectionist who would
not address real life problems with practicality, since they would not
have learned how to weight problems and prioritize these problems. One
who prioritizes his or her time, would choose to not spend hours on a
course that might be less important to their overall goal. I learned two
things: Principals seldom read transcripts (he didn't as he hired me),
and, though it took many more years, he was right. Finally, when one can
no longer achieve at that level, one starts to discriminate on what the
effort goes to. You appear to have an excellent handle on the problem.
I, myself, am glad that you are a perfectionist about the writing
process, for I have learned so much from your attention to the
principles, and the details of what and how you write. When baby comes,
it will be difficult to be all you want to be in both your writing
career and motherhood. I will pass on what I feel nearing the end of
life. One seldom wishes that he or she had worked harder or longer
hours. One wishes that he or she had spent more "lap" time with the
babies and children, listened more carefully, and understood their
partner's needs in a more comprehensive way. The prestige, the money
pale's in significance as life comes full circle. You and Ross are a
unique and inspiring couple for an example of what people with problems
can accomplish as a team. Too bad that you cannot give a bit of that
perfectionism to the others who need a cup full! Jackie