[stylist] Poem: Inspiration

[Lynda Lambert]

thanks for suggestions!
Yes, meant to be whimsical or playful.
Thanks for suggestions - I welcome them!
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Chris Kuell" <ckuell at comcast.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, February 08, 2012 2:01 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Poem: Inspiration


> Linda,
>
> This poem is kind of whimsical, and I enjoyed it. I don't know if you are 
> looking for feedback, but I think you could improve the rhythym here and 
> there. One place would be to use underneath instead of under it. That's a 
> tiny change, but to me, it sounds better. I also think the last line is a 
> little flat. Consider something like: He smiled, or, He laughed
> at the new box of Cracker Jacks.
>
> Thanks for sharing,
>
> chris
>
>
>
>
>
>
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