[stylist] Poem: Inspiration

[Donna Hill]

Lynda,
Nice whimsical poem and I like the surprise ending. I would agree that the
last line is a bit week,. Maybe "He grabbed ..." or something else a bit
less passive. I thought about the comment about "I know" being present tense
while everything else is past, and I wondered if "I realized ..." would
work, but ended up thinking that I liked "I know" better. Usually, it's hard
to tell what format poetry was supposed to be in because the e-mail seems to
add and subtract line breaks at will, but in this case, it looks to me like
you meant the subject and verb to stand alone with the rest of the thought
following on the next line.
Donna

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Lynda Lambert
Sent: Wednesday, February 08, 2012 10:32 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: [stylist] Poem: Inspiration

Thinking of SPRING during a late winter snowfall in PA. Here's a poem
looking ahead to Spring mornings.


"Inspiration Arrived Early This Morning"


I pressed 

my feet deeper into plush blue blankets

 

I stretched

my resting body and flexed my heels

 

I looked

slowly at the neon green numbers on the bedside clock

 

I remembered

it's the first Sunday morning of Spring!

 

I know

the rising sun can never be seen through a window that faces west
 

I listened

to the morning bird songs drifting into the room

 

I thought

about giving a gift to my lover this morning

 

I decided

it must be a divine offering fit for the gods

 

I remembered

 the shiny silver box in the next room

 

I  arose

 to get the magical surprise I would bring to him this morning

            

I brought

the gift. It was pure inspiration 

 

I lifted 

his warm arm - pushed the cool slender box under it

 

He saw

the new box of Cracker Jacks tucked under his arm.





**************************



Lynda Lambert
104 River Road
Ellwood City, PA 16117

724 758 4979

My Blog:  http://www.walkingbyinnervision.blogspot.com
My Website:  http://lyndalambert.com



 
 
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