[stylist] Quick bit/Re: Changes writing prompt
Chris Kuell
ckuell at comcast.net
Sat Jan 14 01:12:11 UTC 2012
Hey Brad,
I really enjoyed this story. Yes, it's rough, but it's got a good voice to
it, it's quirky and it kept my attention all the way. I don't know if you
plan on editing it at all, but if you do, I found the paragraph about his
getting his degree and working on the campus, etc... a bit clunky. If you
kept it that he worked at the power plant it would be less ambigious. And
you might try to think of alternate ways of saying that he felt like
something was watching him. The spider bit was great, in fact, I feel one on
my back right now. Grin.
Excellent job, and you get 2 bonus points for speediness.
chris
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