[stylist] Quick bit/Re: Changes writing prompt

[Brad Dunsé]

Chris,

Probably no edits in the future as it was just a 
one-shot  exercise in writing for a bit when I 
saw the prompt come through, but, I will look at 
the areas you mentioned to muse on them and maybe 
just diddle around if I get time to see how I 
might re-work them. . I appreciate the feedback. 
I'm sure there'd be a lot of paring down if 
I  went back at it with an editor's cap on  now 
after being away from it a day or so, which is 
what I like to do normally :). But I very much 
appreciate your points. So much is learned from reworking stuff.

Brad



On 1/13/2012  07:12 PM Chris Kuell said...
>Hey Brad,
>
>I really enjoyed this story. Yes, it's rough, 
>but it's got a good voice to it, it's quirky and 
>it kept my attention all the way. I don't know 
>if you plan on editing it at all, but if you do, 
>I found the paragraph about his getting his 
>degree and working on the campus, etc... a bit 
>clunky. If you kept it that he worked at the 
>power plant it would be less ambigious. And you 
>might try to think of alternate ways of saying 
>that he felt like something was watching him. 
>The spider bit was great, in fact, I feel one on my back right now. Grin.
>
>Excellent job, and you get 2 bonus points for speediness.
>
>chris
>
>
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Brad Dunsé

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