[stylist] Changes poem, Shawn

[Jacobson, Shawn D]

Thanks to all who looked over my poem.  I'm glad you liked it.

Kris, thanks for the word check; guess I've been reading too many books in audio and not enough in print/Braille.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Chris Kuell
Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 9:39 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Changes poem, Shawn

Hey Shawn,

I like this poem a lot. I believe the formatting got screwed up by the time 
it looped the earth a few times and landed on my desktop, but I can imagine 
where I'd/you'd put the line breaks and it reads very well. I like that you 
never tell the reader that it's a roller-coaster (and I'm going to look 
stupid if it isn't) and the narrator is at an amusement park. The only 
correction I'd make is to use descent (d e s c e n t) instead of decent.

Thanks for sharing.

chris
 


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