[stylist] Feedback on today's blurb
Brad Dunsé
lists at braddunsemusic.com
Mon Jan 23 05:52:03 UTC 2012
Title: None yet
Rateing: PG (meaning 17 or under parental guidance)
Suggestive playful matter but not explicit. If that's offensive, sorry.
Word count: 2361
I'm a little reluctant to post this, i'ts by no
means terrible, but the story I "think" I have in
mind, if I proceed with it, will rely on
establishing the mature, spontaneous, healthy,
active, deep loving marital relationship these
two have. This is kind of out of my normal range
of writing. Any feedback is welcome.
The oven door creaked open, a gush of hot air
shimmered Lindas wheat-colored, chin-length hair
as she slid in another stone casserole dish
brimming with apple crisp. She was fixing up an
office favorite for tonights annual get-together.
Rob? she called, dont forget
were going to
the annual office staff party tonight. Youll be home by 6:30 right?
Uh, yeah
I should be back by then, Rob
shouted back from his den with a boyish, animated
lip curl, partly disgusted with the idea of the
annual appointment, and partly because he just
tied his right pinkie in the laces of his gortex hunting boots.
The late-summer company picnic at Lindas work he
thought was half OK because they held it outside
at a local park, the grilled chicken was always
awesome, and there were blue collars he could
talk with at the picnic tables. Even though he
didnt know any of them personally, there was
usually an outdoorsman or two he could carry on
with about bass fishing, deer hunting, or
something. These stuffy mid-winter staff parties
hosted at the big bosses swanky pad though
they
were nothing but jokes, sick jokes he thought.
The kind of people that had heated garage floors,
indoor pools and bowling lanes for crying out
loud, marble countertops, imported fireplaces
from some 1700 European mansion, not to mention
imported Italian brick exterior, copper gutter
systems and a terrazzo tiled roof. What a
waste, he thought it was
and the souls inside?
A room full of white collar wimps touting
pseudo-humility in the presence of the peasant
workers, claiming to dummy down their casual
dress with eggplant colored Saltaire shirts,
pewter Oakley pants covering the tops of their
Ostrich skinned boots,, all of them running their
lips dry from gulping drenched olive Martinis
all night long, while laughing and clearing
throats on the outside, but trying to one-up each
other inside on who went where on their last
cruise
who bought what yacht in a whim at the
last boat show
or who shot their wall mounted
Gazelle, Waterbuck or Impala down in Texas on one
of those exotic game ranches.
That part made him laugh, Yeah right. Fence in
some exotic animals in a foreign environment, let
loose a bunch of high-priced spoiled brats
outfitted with starched hunting vests, $45,000
Homer Koon rifles, $1,700 Steiner military style
binoculars, and run them around on four wheels
chasing game so they can return as he-men after
bagging their prize mount from the front seat of
a Jeep. Id give them a day
maybe
: more like
a couple hours he really thought,
if they came
along with me on a 3-day trap run.
It always crossed Robs mind to suddenly take ill
reaching for the keys on the way to the car to
these events, and Linda knew how he hated it, but
she was trying to work her way up the ladder. And
she really did feel honored she was invited to
the get-together at all. Linda returned to school
8-years ago, graduated two-years ago with a
Master of Science in Risk Management, and due to
her late blooming in education, she was on the
bottom rung, footpad really, of the corporate
ladder. Linda really had no clue, but Rob could
see it, not that his sweetie wasnt smart, she
was brilliant, she graduated with a 4.1 GPA on
top of working part-time at the university. But
Rob could see that the office mucky-mucks didnt
mind Linda was a looker. Just past Mid-40s, not
tall but more legs than waste, not thin, not
pudge, just attractively filling out a good pair
of dress pants or designer jeans, amply gifted
upper profile, a button-nose, beautiful hair, and
a perfectly oval face circling a dimpled chin,
balanced cheeks under gorgeous green eyes
those
gorgeous green eyes. It bothered him some she was
the type that drew undressing looks from the male
specie, but He and Linda had a strong
relationship. They were crazy over each other,
even after 28 years of marriage. He sort of took
it as a compliment and a nana-nana-na, Ive got
her and you cant have her, kind of attitude.
Childish he knew, but still it made him feel
good, lucky actually, that Linda loved him so much.
One last grunt on the other foot of Robs
mid-calf boot lace, he pulled the woolen cammo
pant legs over the top of the boots, stood up,
slung the empty, slightly blood stained, khaki
canvas game bag over his left shoulder, grabbed
his possibilities pouch, and headed towards his
see ya later honey kiss waiting for him in the kitchen.
Um?
Hun? Did you say
Should be home by
then? Linda moaned with pleading concern from
out in the kitchen, You will be back by 6:30
wont you? I know it isnt your thing but
Interrupting as he stood just inside the door of
his den, Ill be back in time, he droned with
an exaggerated descending OK I got caught kind of tone.
He poked his smiling face out into the hallway
from the den, took a sneaking peak at his wife,
quite playfully at first expecting her to be
looking back at him, but then his face grew more
concentrated as his smile slowly gave way to a
deep admiration, a growing sexual interest he
could feel more than just in his chest as he
stood gaping at the view of her 48-year old
blue-jean wrapped backside looking quite
twenty-oneish, while bent over the oven door.
Standing there he shook his head how many times
hes caught himself stunned by her grace and
beauty. He can be totally engrossed in a project
around the house and catch glimpse of her in the
other room and find himself standing there
drinking in her elegance and cuteness. A couple
times shes caught him looking, which often
turned into a two-hour delay in the project at
hand, but oh, what a delay. Thats why he thought
shed be looking back at him when he poked his
head out in the hall towards her just then.
Standing there, he jerked his head back inside
the den, half-cupped his mouth to the middle of
the room and yelled, I just need to check my
trap lines along the river in back of the
Glitchkes property. I hadnt been out there in
2-days. Should only take me 3-hours or so.
Thinking quite clever of himself for that little,
Im not really standing in the doorway staring
at you, vocal diversion, he poked his head back
around the corner for another long loving glare.
Alright then
OK
lustful glare, but it
wasnt lust, it wasnt, he loved her with an
incredible love. Though they had no kids
together, he felt complete with her, like your
first experience with love only it never ended.
Oh sure they had differences, who doesnt, but
love always came out on top. And times like now?
Admiring her from a distance? He thought he was
getting away with something. And whenever he was
caught staring? She loved it. She loved to know
her guy adored her for who she was in general,
but he made her feel beautiful and wanted, needed
really
yes, she loved being surprised she can
still turn the head of the man she loved, and he
also turned her head just the same. She too
admitted to her own fair share of staring,
sometimes in the morning shed lean on one elbow
and stare at his handsome face, defined, almost
chiseled look. A sharp handsome nose dividing
deep blue eyes under a sharp brow. Light brown
hair that when she fingered it and looked close
there were strains of auburn and gray mixed in it
that gave him a distinguished look. He took care
of himself too, for 50-years old; he pumped iron
for a hobby as well, had a chest of a buff
25-year-old, and could knock one on his rear end
if he needed to. She also admitted to lifting the
morning covers off to stare at the wonderment of
the naked human male body prior to waking. So
yes, Linda loved the fact he stared, because she
knew when she did, it wasnt dirty, it wasnt
lustful. Well
perhaps, somewhat
at times yes
maybe it was a lust of sorts, but she liked that
too, it made her feel like she was getting away
with something. Really she wasnt because there
was a time or two when she pulled the covers down
off him, and she knew the exact moment when he
awoke and caught her peaking, because of the
change in his manhood that took place as she
stared smiling. She knew he was watching her
watch him. All in all, she knew these sneak peeks
were looks birthed out of infatuation with their life soul mate.
With a mischievous boyish grin again taunting
Robs ears as he peaked around the door, he saw
her still bent over the oven door messing with
the apple crisp. He stealthfully walked down the
hall and into the kitchen without her even close
to suspecting he wasnt still in the den as she
quietly hummed a tune. Creeping up behind her, he
stood there with his six-foot one-inch,
two-hundred pound frame that packed a healthy bit
of meat inside a flannel shirt. He let the fronts
of his thighs gently press into her shapely hind
as he dropped the bags and palmed her hips with a
little pulling motion. A huge smile drew across
her lips as she stood up Turning her five-foot
six and a half inch button-nosed frame around to
meet him, she gripped the outsides of his bulky
shoulders, jumped to a tip toe, pecked him on the
lips, and snapped the straps of his suspenders on her way back down.
Teasing she said in a slow erotic voice, After
we get back from that big bad office party
big
boy, snapping one of his suspender straps again,
Ill
um
maybe
invite you to another
little party. A private one maybe? One I think
youll like, if that is, youre willing to
come, winking one of her perfect lashes as she
looked up at him after purposely placing a long pause before her last word.
Staring intensely in her eyes, hers growing more
serious, with his palms still cupping her hips,
the wash of warm apple-cinnamon air twirled
around them as it rolled from the open oven door,
he leaned slowly in for the most tender of kisses
that closed her gorgeous green eyes in a groan of
pleasure as his hand slowly slid off her hips, up
her mid-drift, past her breasts, grazing the
front of them just enough with his extended
thumbs to cause another slow pleasurable groan,
and finally cupping her face as they broke the kiss.
Slowly backing off he said, Now
that little
lady
is my RSVP. Standing there a second to
regain her composure, she broke into a smile,
lightly rib-tickled him with a giggle, Alright,
go check your traps Daniel Boone, and get back here
stud.
Rob has always been the outdoorsy, hunting and
fishing type but never tried trapping until a
couple years back. So far its been mostly
Muskrats, not much for eating, Oh you can
survive on them, but theyre a bit greasy and
gamy for everyday eating, Linda claimed, but Rob
didnt mind them. The pelts only brought about
$4 on the market, but it wasnt the money from
the pelts that kept him trapping, that barely
paid for the gas, the traps and the gear. It was
the feeling of being outdoors, out in the grasp
of nature, thats what got his teeth out in broad
daylight. And grasp of nature he soon will be. If
only hed known, maybe hed have even opted to go
to the party early
instead
and maybe even
glad to do it too. But, right now standing at the
door of his truck in the safety of his garage, he
focused on hating these office parties and was
headed out for a few hours dose of natures
tranquility while checking his trap lines
or so he thought.
Backing his Red 2008 model Chevy pick-up out of
the drive of the small town city rambler, he turn
the wheel to the left then back straight again.
His foot held the clutch to the floor letting the
truck slowly drift backwards until he could see
Linda at the kitchen counter working up yet
another batch of apple crisp. He took a few more
seconds, gave a couple toots of his horn and
revved the engine up like a high-schooler out
whooping it up on Friday night. Looking through
the living room window she smiled those gorgeous
green eyes at him, seductively licked her lips,
and slowly winked. Revving the engine again as he
raised his brow and shoved the truck in first
gear, she could see her pull a giggle through the
window and he popped the clutch chirping the tires a bit as he blasted off.
Linda stood at the counter, slicing apples,
shaking her head with a huge smile at her zany
husbands youthfulness. Her husband, who she now
could hear driving off in the distance
He was
driving off in the distance, and then
then she couldnt hear him anymore.
Her smile faded kind of quickly and she turned
her eyes, those gorgeous green eyes he loved so
much, towards the window where her husband sat in
his pick-up out on the street out front of their
home just seconds ago. She shook off an eerie
feeling, or tried to anyway. She thought of
calling his cell phone and telling him to forget
the trap lines today, do them tomorrow, come back
home and take her in his arms one more time for
an hour or two. She even picked her phone up to
call, but set it down saying out loud, Aghg
thats silly. Then shook it off when the ovens
buzzer warned her to pull the apple crisp out to cool.
Brad Dunsé
"Where no oxen are, the manger is clean,
But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox." --Proverbs
http://www.braddunsemusic.com
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