[stylist] Sample of writing

Jacqueline Williams jackieleepoet at cox.net
Sun Jul 1 17:52:32 UTC 2012


Michelle,
This is quite a love poem. It leaves little of total despair unturned.
It reminds me of a Black Hole, wherein another celestial object bounces off
of its outer part, or gets stuck and goes deeper and deeper to never be its
own entity again.
You have described this non-existence vividly except for the one emotion you
say you still have, anger. If you are totally devoid of feeling, you would
not have anger which is a very strong feeling and is known to save people
from utter despair or nothingness. 
I think writing a love poem is extremely difficult because there has been
little unsaid in a myriad of ways.
You have succeeded in doing so in an original way.
I look forward to more of your poetry, and also your fiction.
Jackie

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Michelle
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 7:00 PM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Sample of writing


Hi all, Robert has invited me to the list and I will be at National
Convention as well. I'm Michelle from PA and here is a sample of my poetry.
I write fiction as well.
Critique welcome.
Michelle





THE ONE I Love
By: Michelle Sipe


Promises, echoes, memories cast into a dreamscape.
Yet, here I lie awake.
Shadows dance upon the wall, like great giants poised to fall.
Yet, no fear comes to fill my empty heart.
Outside the wind blows across the grass, silvered moonlight lights its path.
 Yet, I do not go out there, I do not dare.
A million stars like priceless gems, oh to be one of them.
Here I lie, too hollow even for despair, and yet, I am not scared.
And, what is fear?
A thick and cloying fragrance?
A heady drug of circumstance?
Yet, I don't care, anger has gone and taken all I ever had.
Anger, what do I do with it?
It poisons and steals and cuts to the quick.
There is a hole inside where my heart once lived.
Or, is it there, dormant, hidden, waiting?
And, yet, I am not well.
I'm an unused space, a burnt out hollow shell.
What sends me sliding down that slope?
The loss of him, the one I love.
He turned away and took all hope.
Too dead to care, too blind to see just what his love has done to me.
Yet, I feel nothing.
And, yet, again and again, I ask for nothing more.
I will not sleep, I cannot dream of him again.
He's gone and he's stripped my soul to bare, dead bones.
And yet, he doesn't know.
Evil, laughing twist of fate.
Wicked and wicked and so many kinds of wicked.
There's nothing left in me to break.
Licking flames of scorn and shame, even their greedy tongues do not hurt me.
There is nothing left, he took the best of me.
I am no longer the person I used to be.
She is dead and gone with him, the one I love.

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Robert Leslie Newman
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2012 7:57 PM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Awards

Jackie

That was a great worm story! I enjoyed the perspective, informative, yet
sensitive. It makes a reader wonder if it was the result of some special set
of CDs, or God forbid, by emersion learning. Anyway, congrads!

(I'm getting primed for the Writers' Division's annual meeting in Dallas.
Our guest speaker is a comedy writer.)



-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jacqueline Williams
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2012 11:26 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: [stylist] Awards

I am truly a happy camper today, and forgive me if I blow my own horn a bit.

I just received five awards through the mail yesterday from the NFSPS 2012
Annual Contest. It stands for the National Federation of State Poetry
Societies.

None of them were a first, second, or third place, which means no money, but
there was a 1st, 2nd, one 5th, and two 7th place Honorable Mentions.

I have recently attached two of these to my e-mails to you. Medicine Wheel,
which was "Our American Indian Heritage Award,  and "Rocky", which was on
the topic of When bad things happen.

I will only burden you with one attachment. Mainly because I thought it was
hilarious that it got an award. It was from the League of Minnesota Poets
Award, and the category of long free verse. 

In it, I have taken the name of an angle worm. Who asked me about
anthropomorphic poems? Not sure this is one, but I was trying also to
portray the voice of one dead, a Spoon River. 

The bright spot is that with an honorable mention, I can submit the poem
again with the confidence that it is a good one that might be in need of a
tweak or two.

In only one of the five were the judge's comments included. In her remarks
she stressed the importance of not having even one error in spelling,
punctuation, or usage. In her category there were 257 poems, and every one
with even one error was automatically discarded because it was so difficult
to winnow out even the ones with  perfect form, so that she could
concentrate on content, form, etc.

It is doubly difficult when you use a screen reader to accomplish this, as I
am sure you all know. But I would encourage you to try.

If anyone wants the information on next year's contest, I will be scanning
it for myself, and could make an attachment. The problems, the scanner often
makes mistakes in spelling or skipping some things. 

Sorry I missed the phone conference on Sunday. As Lynda has said, personal
contact means a great deal.

Jackie   

 



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