[stylist] Some parting thoughts

[Donna Hill]

Hi All,

I have a few things to say about the current issues on this list. 

 

First, I want to apologize to Eve (and I'll try to find your personal
e-mail, in case you're no longer with us). I got in-between whatever was
going on with you and Bridgit and may have unwittingly added fuel to the
fire. 

 

Bridgit, you are a bright and talented young woman and have much to offer.
Nevertheless, your language of late has been a bit inflammatory and seems to
violate your rule about criticism needing to be done with kindness. Your
comments to Eve that this list might not be the place for her and your
recent post to Lynda in which you talk about the contributions you hoped she
would make or could have made (I paraphrase), are examples of what I am
talking about. In the case of the latter, it suggests that your heart is
already closed to Lynda. In the case of your comments to Eve, it would have
been sufficient to say what your understanding of the list was and the value
of that. Going any further is hurtful and judgmental. Frankly, when I read
it, I regretted ever responding in support of your initial comments on the
pet peeves thread in the first place. 

 

I challenge you to examine your use of language more closely and develop an
appreciation for the power of subtleties to engender negative reactions. Try
to edit them out of your posts and include them in fiction to strengthen the
development of tension and characters.

 

Lynda, I'm sorry you are being subjected to this unpleasantness. I'm happy
that you've had such a wonderful experience on the other NFB list, but this
sort of thing is an unfortunate occurrence that occasionally troubles all
lists, sighted or blind. In fact, if my guess is correct about the list to
which you referred, I can assure you that there have been incidents there as
well. When you first posted your pet peeves question, I had a nasty feeling
that it was in itself an inflammatory subject. Since you obviously weren't
expecting any feuding on the list, you wouldn't have known this.  Everyone
loves to complain, myself included, and vent about their dislikes, but it
can easily get out of hand when it is taken or meant personally.  

 

I think that we, as members of a population which is below par in the areas
of income, employment, opportunity and social acceptance, are closer to the
ragged edge than the general public - and they are pretty close themselves.
This doesn't excuse unkindness and it can be argued that it ought to give us
a better understanding of how words and attitudes can hurt. Nonetheless, we
don't live in an ideal world, and people occasionally lash out. 

 

The NFB is a wonderful organization with many great programs, ideas and
people, but to suspect that there isn't any politics, back-stabbing or
inconsideration of any type is a bit pie-in-the-sky, in my opinion. That's
human nature, and we are not immune to it.

 

I was surprised to hear that some feel we aren't doing much sharing of work
on this list. It comes and goes, but I thought a few months ago, we were
going hot and heavy for a time. Anyway, I'm at my own ragged edge, and I
need to take a break from the list for a little while to get my own house in
order. No, Robert, I'm not leaving the division and will get my dues paid
soon. Be gentle with one another and keep writing.

Blessings,

Donna

 

 

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