[stylist] please jell me if this is a good poem

[Eve Sanchez]

Vejas, i am glad to hear your teacher liked it. You are only in the first
steps of your climb and will keep getting better and better. Next  year
they will expect more of you (and so on and so on) and you will be prepared
for your writing will do nothing but improve as you continue to work at it
and read, read, read.  Can I ask you something? If you do not want to
answer cuz of this public forum or anything I will understand, but what is
your first name? Just curious as to whom I am talking to. :) Eve

On Mon, Apr 30, 2012 at 9:34 PM, vejas <brlsurfer at gmail.com> wrote:

> Eve,
> I turned in my poetry project today.  (I'm in ninth grade.) Yes, my
> teacher good like x; she said that it filled all of the requirements.
> Vejas
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Eve Sanchez <3rdeyeonly at gmail.com
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Mon, 23 Apr 2012 21:30:32 -0600
> Subject: Re: [stylist] please jell me if this is a good poem
>
> I will be honest and say that I know nothing about poetry, but the subject
> matter here interests me.  I see this mother as a cruel woman that reminds
> me of many past clients and parents of clients.  Her 'lecture' is more of a
> taunting passive aggressive act than anything else.  Good luck.  Let us
> know
> what your teacher thinks will you? And what grade are you in? Just curious.
> Eve
>
> On Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 5:16 PM, vejas <brlsurfer at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> Hi,
> For school I have to write a Shakesperian sonnet.  Our teacher said we
> didn't have to do it in iambic pentameter, but that we had to have the
> rhyming in an about-about-could-could-ef-ef-****gg fashion.
>
> I wrote this poem and it's supposed to be about a mother lecting her son.
>  But I think it sort of drifts.  Please tell me your opinion.
>
> Why didn't you do the many chores,
> That you were supposed to do last night?
> I've told you, for quite a few scores,
> That you just have to fix the light.
> Your laziness is such a curse...
> Do you realize what you could've had?
>
> Yes, it could have been much worse,
> If it weren't for me and your dad.
> Why, yes, you were adopted out,
> When you were just a little boy,
> But really it was, without a doubt,
> A life you would not have enjoyed.
> Just know I want the best,
> Now go to sleep and rest.
> Thanks for comments.
> Vejas
>
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