[stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder

[Aine Kelly-Costello]

I like the thematic matter, good work.  To be an editor, and 
point out the things that  jumped out at me:
"odacious" is actually spelled "audacious".
I wouldn't use the "I've" contraction in "I've desired after a 
fashion", there is a bit of a jump in formality levels there.  
And at the start of that paragraph where you talk about yourself, 
maybe introduce it with some sort of connecting phrase, like "on 
a personal level".  I'd change "though" to "although" there and 
put a comma after "Bill".  Also, the double use of "desired" in 
that paragraph, there and in the following sentence, doesn't read 
that well for me, I'd change one to something else.  I'm not 
really sure what "desired after a fashion" actually means to be 
honest.  Also - at the very top, I have no idea what Plantaginate 
means (and I'm guessing I'm not the only one), so perhaps you 
could clarify that? Just some thoughts ...  obviously you're the 
writer

Cool though :) our headmistress (who is also a history teacher) 
at school is great at doing that, taking a historic example of 
someone important and showing us how it can apply to our 
every-day lives


Aine

 ----- Original Message -----
From: "Bill Outman" <woutman at earthlink.net
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:33:58 -0500
Subject: [stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder

Good afternoon, folks.



This may sound like it runs a bit counter to what we have been 
discussing
the last couple days concerning gratitude, but it's worth 
thinking about.



It came up earlier today when I was discussing division business 
with Robert
off list.  I had it partially written several months ago, but I 
have enough
now to present for your consideration.







Here it is below.



William the Conqueror



William I of England, the first of the Plantaginate kings, 
accomplished in
1066 at the Battle of Hastings the rare feat of a successful 
military
campaign across the English Channel.  He thus acquired the 
English throne,
having set out from the Normandy region of France.  This earned 
him the
nickname William the Conqueror.



The name William originates from the German Wilhelm, meaning 
resolute
protector.  Resolute in intent he certainly was.  It can rightly 
be said
that his act of conquest was odacious.



Though I am known by Bill my given name is actually William, and 
I've
desired after a fashion to be another William the Conqueror.  I 
have desired
not to be just William the Acceptor.



If William the Acceptor had existed, he would have been utterly 
content to
accept his lot in life as pre-ordained and immutable.  He would 
have
accepted a status quo existence, thus remaining a complete 
unknown.  This is
why we have never heard of him.



We may accept our need to cope with lack of vision, but if we do 
not have
some of the spirit of a conqueror, we will not reach our full 
potential and
experience the full amount of joy that might be possible.



Bill Outman





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