[stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder

[Eve Sanchez]

Bill, I hate to say this as I am not an editor or critic, but William the
Conqueror, otherwise known as William the Bastard, was from the early
Norman period. The Plantagenets came about 400 years later In the late 14th
century with the reign of Henry IV. I do like your use of analogy though I
would never want to be associated with such a person, that is neither here
nor there. You admire him for his invasions and slaughters of innocent
people and that is your right. I would suggest doing a little more reading
on the history though to get your timeline correct. Diolch, Cymru Rhydd. Eve

On Mon, Nov 12, 2012 at 3:25 PM, Aine Kelly-Costello <ainekc at orcon.net.nz>wrote:

> I like the thematic matter, good work.  To be an editor, and point out the
> things that  jumped out at me:
> "odacious" is actually spelled "audacious".
> I wouldn't use the "I've" contraction in "I've desired after a fashion",
> there is a bit of a jump in formality levels there.  And at the start of
> that paragraph where you talk about yourself, maybe introduce it with some
> sort of connecting phrase, like "on a personal level".  I'd change "though"
> to "although" there and put a comma after "Bill".  Also, the double use of
> "desired" in that paragraph, there and in the following sentence, doesn't
> read that well for me, I'd change one to something else.  I'm not really
> sure what "desired after a fashion" actually means to be honest.  Also - at
> the very top, I have no idea what Plantaginate means (and I'm guessing I'm
> not the only one), so perhaps you could clarify that? Just some thoughts
> ...  obviously you're the writer
>
> Cool though :) our headmistress (who is also a history teacher) at school
> is great at doing that, taking a historic example of someone important and
> showing us how it can apply to our every-day lives
>
>
> Aine
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Bill Outman" <woutman at earthlink.net
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:33:58 -0500
> Subject: [stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder
>
> Good afternoon, folks.
>
>
>
> This may sound like it runs a bit counter to what we have been discussing
> the last couple days concerning gratitude, but it's worth thinking about.
>
>
>
> It came up earlier today when I was discussing division business with
> Robert
> off list.  I had it partially written several months ago, but I have enough
> now to present for your consideration.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Here it is below.
>
>
>
> William the Conqueror
>
>
>
> William I of England, the first of the Plantaginate kings, accomplished in
> 1066 at the Battle of Hastings the rare feat of a successful military
> campaign across the English Channel.  He thus acquired the English throne,
> having set out from the Normandy region of France.  This earned him the
> nickname William the Conqueror.
>
>
>
> The name William originates from the German Wilhelm, meaning resolute
> protector.  Resolute in intent he certainly was.  It can rightly be said
> that his act of conquest was odacious.
>
>
>
> Though I am known by Bill my given name is actually William, and I've
> desired after a fashion to be another William the Conqueror.  I have
> desired
> not to be just William the Acceptor.
>
>
>
> If William the Acceptor had existed, he would have been utterly content to
> accept his lot in life as pre-ordained and immutable.  He would have
> accepted a status quo existence, thus remaining a complete unknown.  This
> is
> why we have never heard of him.
>
>
>
> We may accept our need to cope with lack of vision, but if we do not have
> some of the spirit of a conqueror, we will not reach our full potential and
> experience the full amount of joy that might be possible.
>
>
>
> Bill Outman
>
>
>
>
>
> ______________________________**_________________
> Writers Division web site
> http://www.writers-division.**net/ <http://www.writers-division.net/>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/**listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org<http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org>
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/**options/stylist_nfbnet.org/**ainekc%40orc<http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/ainekc%40orc>
> on.net.nz
>
>
> ______________________________**_________________
> Writers Division web site
> http://www.writers-division.**net/ <http://www.writers-division.net/>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/**listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org<http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org>
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/**options/stylist_nfbnet.org/**
> 3rdeyeonly%40gmail.com<http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/3rdeyeonly%40gmail.com>
>