[stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder

[Bill Outman]

Thank you for your input as well.  

You presented some good thoughts as I try to develop this piece further.  

Bill Outman 



-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Aine
Kelly-Costello
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 6:26 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder

I like the thematic matter, good work.  To be an editor, and point out the
things that  jumped out at me:
"odacious" is actually spelled "audacious".
I wouldn't use the "I've" contraction in "I've desired after a fashion",
there is a bit of a jump in formality levels there.  
And at the start of that paragraph where you talk about yourself, maybe
introduce it with some sort of connecting phrase, like "on a personal
level".  I'd change "though" to "although" there and put a comma after
"Bill".  Also, the double use of "desired" in that paragraph, there and in
the following sentence, doesn't read that well for me, I'd change one to
something else.  I'm not really sure what "desired after a fashion" actually
means to be honest.  Also - at the very top, I have no idea what
Plantaginate means (and I'm guessing I'm not the only one), so perhaps you
could clarify that? Just some thoughts ...  obviously you're the writer

Cool though :) our headmistress (who is also a history teacher) at school is
great at doing that, taking a historic example of someone important and
showing us how it can apply to our every-day lives


Aine

 ----- Original Message -----
From: "Bill Outman" <woutman at earthlink.net
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org Date sent: Mon,
12 Nov 2012 17:33:58 -0500
Subject: [stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder

Good afternoon, folks.



This may sound like it runs a bit counter to what we have been discussing
the last couple days concerning gratitude, but it's worth thinking about.



It came up earlier today when I was discussing division business with Robert
off list.  I had it partially written several months ago, but I have enough
now to present for your consideration.







Here it is below.



William the Conqueror



William I of England, the first of the Plantaginate kings, accomplished in
1066 at the Battle of Hastings the rare feat of a successful military
campaign across the English Channel.  He thus acquired the English throne,
having set out from the Normandy region of France.  This earned him the
nickname William the Conqueror.



The name William originates from the German Wilhelm, meaning resolute
protector.  Resolute in intent he certainly was.  It can rightly be said
that his act of conquest was odacious.



Though I am known by Bill my given name is actually William, and I've
desired after a fashion to be another William the Conqueror.  I have desired
not to be just William the Acceptor.



If William the Acceptor had existed, he would have been utterly content to
accept his lot in life as pre-ordained and immutable.  He would have
accepted a status quo existence, thus remaining a complete unknown.  This is
why we have never heard of him.



We may accept our need to cope with lack of vision, but if we do not have
some of the spirit of a conqueror, we will not reach our full potential and
experience the full amount of joy that might be possible.



Bill Outman





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