[stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder

Jacobson, Shawn D Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov
Tue Nov 13 15:05:05 UTC 2012


Bill

I liked the piece (William the conqueror VS William the accepter).  I do like how you tie it in with the blindness struggle (same could be said of any civil rights struggle).

Let's all keep fighting (hopefully without any slaughter).

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Bill Outman
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2012 9:55 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder

Thank you for your input as well.  

You presented some good thoughts as I try to develop this piece further.  

Bill Outman 



-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Aine Kelly-Costello
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 6:26 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder

I like the thematic matter, good work.  To be an editor, and point out the things that  jumped out at me:
"odacious" is actually spelled "audacious".
I wouldn't use the "I've" contraction in "I've desired after a fashion", there is a bit of a jump in formality levels there.  
And at the start of that paragraph where you talk about yourself, maybe introduce it with some sort of connecting phrase, like "on a personal level".  I'd change "though" to "although" there and put a comma after "Bill".  Also, the double use of "desired" in that paragraph, there and in the following sentence, doesn't read that well for me, I'd change one to something else.  I'm not really sure what "desired after a fashion" actually means to be honest.  Also - at the very top, I have no idea what Plantaginate means (and I'm guessing I'm not the only one), so perhaps you could clarify that? Just some thoughts ...  obviously you're the writer

Cool though :) our headmistress (who is also a history teacher) at school is great at doing that, taking a historic example of someone important and showing us how it can apply to our every-day lives


Aine

 ----- Original Message -----
From: "Bill Outman" <woutman at earthlink.net
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org Date sent: Mon,
12 Nov 2012 17:33:58 -0500
Subject: [stylist] William the Conqueror; some thoughts to ponder

Good afternoon, folks.



This may sound like it runs a bit counter to what we have been discussing the last couple days concerning gratitude, but it's worth thinking about.



It came up earlier today when I was discussing division business with Robert off list.  I had it partially written several months ago, but I have enough now to present for your consideration.







Here it is below.



William the Conqueror



William I of England, the first of the Plantaginate kings, accomplished in
1066 at the Battle of Hastings the rare feat of a successful military campaign across the English Channel.  He thus acquired the English throne, having set out from the Normandy region of France.  This earned him the nickname William the Conqueror.



The name William originates from the German Wilhelm, meaning resolute protector.  Resolute in intent he certainly was.  It can rightly be said that his act of conquest was odacious.



Though I am known by Bill my given name is actually William, and I've desired after a fashion to be another William the Conqueror.  I have desired not to be just William the Acceptor.



If William the Acceptor had existed, he would have been utterly content to accept his lot in life as pre-ordained and immutable.  He would have accepted a status quo existence, thus remaining a complete unknown.  This is why we have never heard of him.



We may accept our need to cope with lack of vision, but if we do not have some of the spirit of a conqueror, we will not reach our full potential and experience the full amount of joy that might be possible.



Bill Outman





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