[stylist] my lateish CK Gratitude prompt response

Tue Nov 20 15:26:04 UTC 2012

I don't have an editor's ear, but for me, the ending "After a momentary
hesitation, she turned left and drove into the first glimmer of the dawning
sun" worked well as symbols of the dawn of understanding and of a brighter
future.  It evokes a very different portent of her future than, say, "After
a momentary hesitation, she turned left and drove into the slate gray
overcast that passed for dawn."

But Chris, the bonus track!  Just what are these enthusiastic young men
saying thank you to?  With lyrics such as "...always right in front of
me...never turned away...going everywhere I go and you don't even show..."
andof course, "wank wank wank wank wank" (repeated twenty times); this song
seems to be a sort of, well, paean, on the order of Fleetwood Mac's
"Rattlesnake Shake."

Excellent.

Bill Meeker

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Robert Leslie
Newman
Sent: Tuesday, November 20, 2012 7:49 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: [stylist] my lateish CK Gratitude prompt response

I too read the story and have been thinking about it. I read it 3 days ago
and I'd say that because it is still in my head tells me that it touched my
interest. The salesmen was pretty typical for a guy, a self-serving and
shallow type of dude --- for this story he was just a tool/source, a
bank-board for our ladies thoughts and emotions to rebound. All in the story
was believable; characters had good detail in their physical description and
showed believable human feelings and other characteristics. And it was good
to see our main lady go through changes --- the transplant is a real life
changer, the anti-rejection meds can do a number on you, and a marriage with
who may be a guy that needs a bit of growing up and other straightening up
is definitely a source for stirring the life perspective of a spouse like
our lady. (The question of "which way did she go?" That took me some
rereading to catch on. And I'm thinking that it was the right way to do it
--- by not having the character say it clearly as she made the turn was
best, leaves me more thinking that she may still be feeling the emptiness in
the future, but willing to face that.

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Eve Sanchez
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2012 8:39 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] CK Gratitude prompt response

I am confused by your comparison. The West and home are two different
directions. I do not think Chris gave anything away here, but I guess I am
not sure what you are trying to point out. Eve

On Mon, Nov 19, 2012 at 6:16 PM, Aine Kelly-Costello
<ainekc at orcon.net.nz>wrote:

> Aha, I like that she decided to go home.  That's what I thought she 
> would do.  But then I thought perhaps the order of the mention of West 
> and East mattered ...:
>
> "as she exited the parking lot and approached the highway, she saw the 
> sign for I-70 West to the right, and I-70 East to the left.  A home 
> and a thousand miles of pavement one way; a clean slate and boundless 
> uncertainty two thousand miles the other direction." Do you see what I 
> mean? The west is mentioned first and the home is also mentioned 
> first? That's really minor and you may have already noticed, but I 
> guess pointing it out can do no harm :)
>
>
> Aine
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Chris Kuell" <ckuell at comcast.net
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org Date sent: 
> Mon, 19 Nov 2012 15:00:59 -0500
> Subject: Re: [stylist] CK Gratitude prompt response
>
> Thanks to those who took the time to read and comment on my writing.
>
> Aine, Emily actually chose the homeward path.  You'd have to know a 
> bit of US geography, as I didn't make it clear, but the sun rises in 
> the east, and that's the direction of Maine.  I also don't make 
> character maps/sketches for short stories, but instead imagine the 
> characters as I write them and see where they go.  When I started the 
> story, I was going to have Emily go to California, but then it seemed 
> right to have her go back home.
>
> Atty, I very much appreciate your words of praise and support.
>
> Vejas, I can't really say why Patrick did what he did.  I know that 
> about 50% of marriages end in divorce, and both men and women too 
> often stray.  Just look at the news lately, and how General Ppetraeus, 
> a seemingly impeccably honorable man, had an affair with his 
> biographer.  Unfortunately, it happens.
> Thanks for your kind words about my story.
>
> Eve, I sent you the story as a word attachment and I hope you can read 
> that.
>
> chris
>
>
>
> ______________________________**_________________
> Writers Division web site
> http://www.writers-division.**net/ <http://www.writers-division.net/>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/**listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org<http://nfbnet.
> org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org>
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/**options/stylist_nfbnet.org/**ainekc%40orc<
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/ainekc%40orc>
> on.net.nz
>
>
> ______________________________**_________________
> Writers Division web site
> http://www.writers-division.**net/ <http://www.writers-division.net/>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/**listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org<http://nfbnet.
> org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org>
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/**options/stylist_nfbnet.org/**
> 3rdeyeonly%40gmail.com<http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbne
> t.org/3rdeyeonly%40gmail.com>
>
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site
http://www.writers-division.net/
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.net

_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site
http://www.writers-division.net/
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/meekerorgas%40ameritech
.net
-----
No virus found in this message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 2012.0.2221 / Virus Database: 2629/5407 - Release Date: 11/20/12