[stylist] Comments on CK gratitude prompt

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

No problem. And don't get me wrong, this is already a strong beginning,
but in the spirit of providing constructive feedback, I looked for areas
that could be even stronger. For a simple writing exercise, this is
really good, and as usual, I enjoy your style and voice.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 6
Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2012 11:57:14 -0500
From: "Chris Kuell" <ckuell at comcast.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Comments on CK gratitude prompt
Message-ID: <45C7DE6408B24F189EE8F04F3A98304D at ChrisPC>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
	reply-type=original

Thanks, Bridgit. These are all excellent suggestions. Shortly after I
posted 
the story, I figured out why I wasn't satisfied with it, and I think you
hit 
on it. The pacing isn't right. It's slower in the beginning, and faster
at 
the end. I think 'showing' Emily with Bobby through scenes, rather than 
'telling' about them, would help a lot.

Many thanks to you, and to Declan for allowing you, to take the time to
read 
and comment.

chris