[stylist] November writing prompt on gratitude: poem
Aine Kelly-Costello
ainekc at orcon.net.nz
Sun Nov 25 01:28:07 UTC 2012
Thanks Danielle
Last race because I'm retiring from swimming - yes, my choice. I
want to go do a BMus/BA conjoint at Uni, can't do everything haha
My coach knows all that though and it was written for him, I just
reposted it here because it fit the theme
The other disabled athletes mentioned also went to London
----- Original Message -----
From: Danielle Antoine <singingmywayin at gmail.com
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Sat, 24 Nov 2012 19:09:05 -0600
Subject: Re: [stylist] November writing prompt on gratitude: poem
Aine,
Good piece. I felt like I went right throu all the emotions with
you.
Why was that the last race? Was it your choice or due to
stipulations?
Something your might think of incorporating.
Also, what became of the other two disabled athletes? And, I like
the
word choice of "eventuate".
On 11/22/12, Aine Kelly-Costello <ainekc at orcon.net.nz> wrote:
Thanks Ashley. Well, writing names or descriptions of the
swimmers wouldn't really work in that context, to be honest
(metre wise), and also, seeing as it was written for my coach,
he
knows exactly who I am talking about. I don't really see how
adding more about those swimmers would help, to be honest, as it
would divert from the direction of the poem, but thanks for the
suggestion anyway.
I didn't have any particular form in mind, except for the "You
watched" motif (or whatever you want to call it) and then
varying
that for effect.
Aine
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ashley Bramlett" <bookwormahb at earthlink.net
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Thu, 22 Nov 2012 18:08:10 -0500
Subject: Re: [stylist] November writing prompt on gratitude:
poem
Aine,
Thanks for sharing your piece.
I liked the image of the novice swimmers and then the emotions
about your
defeat and the important role your coach played. To expand it,
you may want
to say who the three disabled swimmers are.
Good poem. What form is it?
Ashley
-----Original Message-----
From: Aine Kelly-Costello
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 3:06 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] November writing prompt on gratitude:
poem
OK, I was debating whether to post this or not as it's sort
of...
personal, I guess, but it seems like everyone is pretty friendly
here so I may as well give it a go. :) It was a poem I wrote
for
my swim coach a couple weeks ago. I'm retiring from the sport,
after going to the Paralympics earlier this year. Without going
into great detail, we could say London didn't go as well as I'd
have liked. At least in my main event (100 back) I did come
6th,
but not quite in a personal best time. Anyway, it's pasted
below
and attached.
?
Look
You watched as thousands of tiny floppy forms learned
To coordinate their arms and legs and fingers and toes
Endlessly, as they earned
Titles of tadpole and dolphin and shark.
You encouraged hundreds of them.
You watched as two of the sparks of life you love
Slowly surpassed the work ethic expectations of their peers
To become multiple record breakers, they learned fast
To refine their own art and teach others.
You were always there for both of them.
You watched as you were handed down
Three athletes with a "disability", and as we
Insisted on attempting to prove our aquatic agility
To anyone who might listen.
You always listened to all of us.
You watched as my hand touched the wall, the abrupt end
To the main race of my career, with me
Not wanting to settle for 6th best
And admit defeat, nor celebrate success.
You comforted me through all that fuss.
I wish you hadn't watched
As the final event I'd ever do
Left everything good for the next time that wouldn't eventuate,
I felt like I let the whole world down and somehow
All you said was not to talk about it.
I couldn't grasp how anyone could say that
And not be ready to kill, so I asked and found out
I'd upset you more for thinking you'd be forever mad. Now I
know
You'd forgive me even that.
You have no choice but to watch
As I read you this poem, and I realise
I've thought of 5 full stanzas, but have yet
To work out how to thank you; you're one of a few
I can never repay. To my relief though, I did at least surmise
You'd have forgotten the debt, anyway.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Chris Kuell" <ckuell at comcast.net
To: "Stylist" <stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Tue, 6 Nov 2012 08:35:55 -0500
Subject: [stylist] November writing prompt
Hello, fellow writers. Sorry about the delay, but we lost power
and cable (hence no telephone) and heat during the storm, and
didn't get it back until yesterday, seven days later. And, just
in the nick of time, since it's 22 degrees out right now. We
had
some limbs and trees down, and 2 phone poles snapped in half on
my street, but compared to many people, we got off relatively
easy. Which brings me to this month's writing prompt.
I think an appropriate theme for this prompt is 'gratitude'. We
all have much to be grateful for, and I'd like you to write a
poem, essay, memoir piece or short story with the idea of
gratitude in mind. Any length, any style--I urge you to be
creative. For instance, I might write about a town called
Gratitude, North Dakota...
This is not meant to be a race. If the muse hits and you hammer
out something today, that's great. But, if you are like me, it
may take a week or two to write something, and then another week
to edit and revise it. Part of the reason to do a prompt is to
get your creative juices flowing, but also to practice your
craft. Post your responses by December first, although if you
need a few extra days you won't be penalized.
Finally, as people post their work, I urge everyone to read them
and give constructive feedback. We all want to be supportive,
naturally, but I hope we also want to grow and improve as
writers. This happens in several ways, firstly by writing, but
also by reading with a writer's mindset, always thinking--what
works in this piece, and what doesn't? You will be amazed at how
analyzing others writing improves your own. But, I also caution
you to look at the writing, and not the opinions expressed. For
example, if someone writes that Sarah Palin should really be
president today, I disagree with the sentiment, but my feedback
should only relate to the writing. Look for pacing, point of
view, tense shifts, run-on sentences, clunky sentences or
phrases, and so on. And of course, mention the things you liked
about a piece--great imagery, solid dialogue, awesome symbolism,
etc.
Good luck, and again, it's a broad theme and there's no right or
wrong way to approach it. The most important thing is to write
something.
chris
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Aine,
Thanks for sharing your piece. I liked how you take us from the
image of
people swimming to your emotions as you came in sixth and felt
defeated.
It showed the emotion in a short piece. If you wanted to expand
on it,
I'd suggest that you tell us who the three disabled swimmers
are.
Also,
congradulations
on getting into the paralympics.
Ashley
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