[stylist] fantasy prompt

Thu Apr 18 18:54:40 UTC 2013

Hi Eve,
Block quote and block quote end are digital-age ways of signifying a
quotation, especially a longer one. I don't think I would have needed it
here, but it's habit. You'll see it online; I don't think it's considered
proper for academic papers. 

What is it you never learned? I must have missed something, but I think you
came to the list while I was away, so I missed your introduction. I never
used a computer till 2005   but I had a literal and figurative "crash
course" during the first couple of years. I taught myself Braille after
college; I never got good at it, but it was a life-saver for the 20 years I
lived alone before getting married and is still indispensable today, despite
my carpal tunnel syndrome.
Blessings,
Donna

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Eve Sanchez
Sent: Wednesday, April 17, 2013 7:13 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] fantasy prompt

Hmmm. Well, first off; Thank you for reading this piece. I am going to have
to reread it more carefully to see why I did that and I truly appreciate
your comments. Uh, what does 'block quote' mean? Remember, I never learned
any of this stuff. ;) Eve

On Wed, Apr 17, 2013 at 10:29 AM, Donna Hill <penatwork at epix.net> wrote:

> Eve,
> This is almost poetic in the way you use and repeat certain lines and 
> concepts. I like it, though I do have one problem in the following 
> paragraph Block quote Only she knew of all her adventures and only she 
> knew of what was to come.
> She remembered, while looking upon the lunar reflection upon the 
> moving waters.
> Block quote end
>
> It's the use of the word "upon" twice. I can't quite put a handle on 
> why it bothers me when you do the same thing with "only" and that 
> doesn't. I think part of it is that  this sentence sounds incomplete, 
> almost gramatically wrong, and perhaps the second "upon" adds to that. 
> Perhaps, it's that I generally think of the verb "to remember" as more 
> suited to having an object, so I'm waiting for what exactly she 
> remembered instead of hearing it as more like "reflected."
> Donna
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Eve 
> Sanchez
> Sent: Monday, April 15, 2013 11:46 PM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: [stylist] fantasy prompt
>
> Alright, I'll bite. This is my cup  after all. By the way, funny 
> thing; my
> 3 year old grand daughter stole mbag tonight and was swinging it around
the
> house. Who needs expensive toys?   Seriously, I am working on a series of
> stories centered around the Fae thaine mythologies and legends from 
> around the world. For those that do not know, the Fae are better known 
> as the Faeries, the beings of another realm. Well, here is one of my 
> pieces and I will warn for those faint of heart, is descriptions of 
> her body. I do not find it sexual, but I have been told bers that it 
> is. So in other words; you might not want to read it if you are 
> worrieut the human anatomy.  I was not going to share any of th, but 
> since Bridget brought it up...
>
> Raven
>
>                 Her breasts, as perfect as two peas with tiny nipples 
> pointing the way, sat above a slender waist that smoothly blended into 
> narrow hips of youthfulness, though she was immortal. Her derriere 
> though, was as prominent as her breasts, causing balance and harmony in
her form.
> Her skin was a black blue like the panting tongue of a dog from the 
> orient, yet it shone more than beautiful on her. There was nothing 
> coarse about her.
> Even if one was to stroke her nether hair they would proclaim it as 
> soft and silky as the above ebony tresses and as glossy black as the 
> feathered wings folded across her back.
>
>                 She sat perched on the tiniest of branches of a great 
> Northern spruce, looking out upon the tides visible in the glow of the 
> moon.
> She sat with one muscular leg folded under her and the other raised so 
> that she may rest her hand upon her knee. She watched as the water 
> swelled, crested, and rolled in as far as it dared to go, wetting sand 
> and stone alike. She watched as the water then receded leaving a trail 
> of bubbles, as trapped air from beneath the dampened sand was 
> released. She watched this knowing it was only possible because of her 
> thievery. She looked up at the stars and moon and smiled, her black eyes
twinkling in their glow.
>
>                 This was the tween time, the time between night and 
> day. It was the time between dark and light. It was her time. Those 
> who remembered her, remembered her as the wise trickster bird. This 
> was fine with her though she was more than bird. She did her greatest 
> work in the form of a human boy child, but she was more than a human. 
> She was Fae, and this was her time. These were her people, her clan, and
this was her Mother Earth.
> She was Raven.
>
>                 All around the world, she was known by many names. She 
> was a trickster, a thief, a messenger, and deity, both Goddess and 
> God. She was Raven. She thought of the many stories told about her as 
> she traveled through the ages visiting and touching the children of 
> Mother Earth throughout its Northern regions, as she preferred, for 
> she only did as she wished and went where she desired. Only she knew 
> of all her adventures and only she knew of what was to come. She 
> remembered, while looking upon the lunar reflection upon the moving 
> waters.
>
>                 Long ago, it is told, she posed as the grandchild of 
> the Creator. He who held the moon and stars, the sun and daylight all 
> in baskets woven with intricate designs, had refused to let them 
> loose. He had protected them from all and kept them safely hidden from 
> molestation, but she knew that in her chosen form she would prevail. 
> Not even the Great Creator could deny his dearest grandson. And so, 
> after much trickery, it was done. They had been loosed for all the 
> world.
>
>                 The fishermen of the night knew no tides, yet they 
> caught their salmon. The hunters of the night knew no moonlight, yet 
> they killed their stag. The women of the night knew no sunshine, yet 
> they raised strong children. They knew no other way and yet were happy 
> and content. Raven, always greedy as we know, was not content. She 
> planned and prevailed. She filled the sky with light and gifted the Earth
with warmth from the sun.
> Should a thief feel remorse? Raven felt none.
>
>                 Though The People did not normally sanctify thievery 
> or deception, they honored Raven and do so still to this day. How 
> could there be anger towards someone giving such gifts? The People 
> looked to the moon and told of time's passage. They learned to read 
> the stories written within the stars. They appreciated the comfort and 
> life provided by the sun and lived fully in daylight. The People did not
persecute Raven for her crimes.
> No, they honored the wise bird and remember her gifts to this day.
>
>                 She stood, with the wane light of the tween time 
> silhouetting her diminutive form and looked to the moon and stars. She 
> felt no remorse. As her world was between spiritual and physical, this 
> was her time. As she was busiest between the old night and the day she 
> gifted, this was her time. As she thought of the creatures that 
> stirred in this tween time, neither dark nor light, she knew they were 
> hers and that she loved them. This was her time and she was content 
> with it as much as greedy Raven could ever be content with anything.
>
>                 With her memories of the past and ideas of what was to 
> come, she spread her wings and leapt from the bough, falling into the 
> still air, until the wind caught her up and held her suspended before 
> she took flight.
> Turning in an arc, she circled a totem with her likeness, the likeness 
> of the trickster bird. She is remembered still. She flew counter to 
> the rotation of Mother Earth so as to stay ahead of the day. She flew 
> to stay within the tween time. This was her time, between what was 
> past and that to come, and she had no remorse for her crimes.
>
>
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