[stylist] CK comments on fantasy prompts

[Jacobson, Shawn D]

Kris

Thanks for your comments.  I'm glad you liked the humor.  I will admit the ending is weak; part of my reason for putting this before the group was to pick up some suggestions for making it better, so your comments are appreciated.

Good luck with your writing and good reading.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Chris Kuell
Sent: Sunday, April 21, 2013 2:09 PM
To: Stylist
Subject: [stylist] CK comments on fantasy prompts

Howdy, folks. I've been away and have finally sifted through the 240 or so new emails in my in box. I'll comment on everyone's fantasy prompt responses below. Consolidation rules!

 

Bridgit-

I've read this piece before, and still enjoy it very much. You do a great job incorporating all the senses, weaving in emotion and great visual components. I especially like the changing of the seasons and the movement of time. This isn't a piece about plot, it really is about feeling. Great job.

 

Barbara -

This was a very cute and playful poem. You do a nice job of capturing the feel of children at play.

 

Shawn -

This is a really funny piece, especially the first half, and I very much enjoy your dry sense of humor. This is a great line: Yet, with the funky persistence of fish odor, the letter lived on taking its place in urban legend. For me, the talk about fairies ruling our lives is a bit muddy and not easy to follow. This might be addressed by having a skeptic join their conversation at the bar. You also have quite a few little editing issues that need to be addressed before this would be ready for prime time.

 

Eve -

This certainly is your element. 'Raven' isn't really a story, and yet you write eloquently about this being that rides the waves between worlds. You hold the reader's interest and make me want to experience Raven personally. Nice job.

 

I'll post my own response later.



chris

 

     

 


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