[stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
Donna Hill
penatwork at epix.net
Sun Feb 10 19:21:29 UTC 2013
Anita,
Yes, it does hurt. You are far from alone, however. I was fortunate in that
my parents, even though my mother didn't accept that I really was blind, at
least pushed me and expected me to keep up with my peers. Other relatives
kept whatever views they had to themselves, and the ones who were
uncomfortable simply stayed away. I have known other people, however, who
had relatives that made (and in some cases continue to make) things
horrible for them.
In a very twisted circumstance (and I wrote about this gal, so I know she
wouldn't care if I mention it) a mother did a lot of both the best and worst
things you could do. She learned Braille so she could help her daughter
learn it and be involved in her education as she would with a sighted child.
She also told her daughter that anything she would achieve in this world
would be due to the kindness of others who would help her out of pitty. In
grad school, when she was making straight A's, she went to her adviser in
tears asking why all of the professors felt so sorry for her that they had
to give her A's. The counsellor told her that no one felt sorry for her and
that she'd earned the grades she was getting. It was a real wake-up call for
her.
Another woman I know, who is a lawyer and teacher had an experience when she
got excepted to graduate school. Her mother told her that she had been
sharing this good knews with her aunt, and the aunt was not impressed. She
said she thought that was horrible that they accepted a blind student and
she was taking opportunities away from more worthy sighted students.
Donna
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Anita
Ogletree
Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2013 9:06 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
And I thought I was the onbby one who felt like people tend to avoid me
because I am blind. It reminds me of the time when I was moving into a dorm
room with this girl who told me as I was bringing my things in that she
couldn't help me with anything.
The guy that was helping me politely told her that I wouldn't need her help.
But there are some kin folk that behave the same way as total strangers.
And it hurts, you know?
Anita
> ----- Original Message -----
>From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net
>To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org Date sent:
>Sat, 9 Feb 2013 17:10:49 -0600
>Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
>Lynda and Donna
>Yes, do speak up in situations like this. It always surprises
and yes,
>disappoints me, but people can find blindness to be one of those
life
>factors to be uncomfortable with. Yeah, going blind is for too
many of us a
>major factor in losing friends and in the reluctance of new
people becoming
>our friend.
>-----Original Message-----
>From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
Donna Hill
>Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2013 2:14 PM
>To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
>Lynda,
>They deserve that little tap. On the other hand, you knew that
woman; she
>could just as easily say that you ignored her. I'm sure that
wasn't what was
>actually going on, but just as an idea, why don't you consider
saying
>something next time? It could be as inocent as, "Hi, you're Peg
from
>knitting aren't you?" Some people are extremely uncomfortable
about talking
>to blind people. She might think you would probably start crying
all over
>the place about how you miss knitting so much and wish you could
still do
>it. She has prejudices that are not going to help either her or
her loved
>ones should any of them lose their sight.
>Donna
>-----Original Message-----
>From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
Lynda Lambert
>Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2013 10:02 AM
>To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
>Yes, Bridgit, I had just responded to this topic before I read
your note
>here. I spoke of my husband's inability to spell - which he
would not
>appreciate me talking about, I am sure. We will be married 52
years in
>April,; I guess he would not be surprised that I said this about
him.
>Yes, I also have retained my visual way of doing things but have
had to
>adapt to make it work because I have to do most things
non-visually these
>days. I am on the Krafters-Korner NFB list and have received
many good tops
>there to help me re-learn how to do things I used to do. That
group has been
>wonderful in helping each other through challenges we have in
doing things
>non-visually.
>I have never been blind in my dreams - and I dream constantly. I
am never
>blind in my own consciousness unless I am faced with an
uncomfortable or
>frightening situation and then I find that I become very blind at
times.
>Mostly that happens when I am out and come upon someone who knows
me well,
>and they do not know that I can tell they are there - and they
choose to be
>silent and not even acknowlege I am there. This happened
yesterday at the
>beauty shop. I was aware that a woman came into the shop as she
passed by
>me. I had a feeling I might know her because my hairdresser
called her
>"Peg." That is an unusual name, and I have only known about two
Pegs or
>Peggy's in my life. So I was alert, wondering if this was one
that I know.
>Shortly, she was seated in the waiting area and I came in there
to get my
>purse to pay for my services. I was only 3 feet from her, and
she was facing
>me. I see shadows, but no details, so I could tell the person
was looking
>directly at me. Absolute quiet! Not a hint that she knew me. As
I had been
>listening to her for awhile, I recognized her voice as she spoke
with
>others. It was definitely a lady from my knitting group who has
known me for
>a couple of years. I have sat with her in small groups of
knitters at
>different homes. I have been in her home on several occasions.
Yet, when she
>ran into me at the hair dressers, she chose to be quiet and wait
it out -
>not in any way indicating we knew each other. My husband
arrived, and as we
>drove home I told him what has just happened to me. This is the
kind of
>thing I mean, when I say at times I feel very blind. This is the
kind of
>encounter only a blind person would have - because she has no
idea I can
>tell who she is, so she chose to ignore me.
>My daughters and grand daughters often tell me how people will
stare at me
>because they see me walking with a long white cane. It amazes
them how a
>perfect stranger will stand beside me in line at a restaurant and
actually
>turn around and be looking directly at me because they think I
cannot see
>them. But, I can tell they are doing it. It is times like this
when I
>"accidently" hit them with my cane as I walk by.
>Lynda
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com
>To: <stylist at nfbnet.org
>Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2013 3:29 AM
>Subject: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
>> Lynda,
>> I agree with you on this topic. Despite my blindness, I'm a
very
>> visual person. I lost my sight nine years ago, but I continue
to be an
>> extremely visual person.
>> I have learned Braille though, and studies have shown that when
>> learning Braille, even when not able to see at all, the brain is
using
>> its visual aspect.
>> Each Braille character represents a letter in the alphabet and
the
>> exact punctuation as print. Essentially it's a tactile form of
print.
>> People assume it's paramount to a foreign language, but Braille
is the
>> exact same language using the same rules for grammar,
punctuation and
>> spelling, just in a tactile form. Various languages have their
version
>> of Braille since many languages have nuances.
>> I too have wondered how people who have never been able to see
>> visualize things. I once asked a friend if he "saw" his dreams,
and he
>> said he dreams with his other senses, which is very interesting.
>> I also met a fellow Federationist who is totally blind and
always
>> been, and she was an art major at one of the big universities in
>> Texas. Of course there are blind medical doctors and engineers
along
>> with others working in what would seem like very visual fields,
and
>> this doesn't cover all the interests and hobbies like crafts,
cars and
>athletics.
>> I think more and more blind people are facing challenges, and
instead
>> of thinking about limitations, they are figuring out how to
hurdle
>> that obstacle.
>> I do agree that I've met several blind people who misspell words
>> frequently, but I don't know if this is due to an inability to
spell,
>> if they were not taught correctly or if they just don't edit
before
>> sending material. I think a lot of people have this problem,
blind and
>sighted.
>> JAWS is great for this because you actually hear the word, that
is if
>> you take time to read through what you wrote, grin. But yes, I
think
>> people who only know Braille can find difficulties when
switching to
>> print on a keyboard. Many choose to use a Braille display
and/or
>> Braille keyboard. I' not saying all Braille users are like
this, but I
>> have met many who are.
>> Ultimately, these things are most likely unique to individuals
and not
>> necessarily a result of a disability. If you can't spell when
blind,
>> chances are good you couldn't spell if sighted, smile.
>> Sincerely,
>> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter, editor, Slate & Style Read my blog
at:
>> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>> "If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world
can
>> satisfy, we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created
for
>> another world."
>> C. S. Lewis
>> Message: 1
>> Date: Fri, 8 Feb 2013 13:02:00 -0500
>> From: "Lynda Lambert" <llambert at zoominternet.net
>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Quote to ponder - taken to another level
>> Message-ID: <D52994C7F7964817A957168910B552B3 at Lambert
>> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
>> reply-type=original
>> This is a really good question, Robert.
>> I have noticed that so many blind people spell things so wonky,
and
>> maybe this is why. I always wonder is spelling is really
taught and
>> learned visually. I really have no experience with any of the
>> discussion on Braille because I do not use it - I do everything
with
>> electronics and some things
>> with a CCTV. I have only had sight loss for 5 years, so I
really have
>> no
>> idea how blind children learn things like spelling, grammar,
>> formatting, and punctuation. To me, they are all visual, and it
is
>> very hard for me to understand it any other way - well, I really
don't
>> understand it any other way. When I am reading (listening to a
voice
>> on a machine) I am still listening visually. I see it in my
mind, and
>> if I cannot see it that way, it's confusing to me. Auditory
skills
>> would rate very low for me.
>> Everyone has strength in certain skills and ways of learning -
and I
>> am a Visual learner above all else. That did not change - I
still have
>> to be able to SEE it to remember it - I have to stop and SEE a
picture
>> in my mind before it sticks with me.
>> Writing and reading, for me, has always been a visual
experience.
>> This makes me wonder, can a person who has always been blind be
a
>> Visual learner?
>> And, then, I wonder, how does a blind person visualize things?
These
>> are some things I am thinking about and working with a blind
painter
>> friend to put together an exhibition on how people see and
visualize.
>> _______________________________________________
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