[stylist] To ponder- to take to another level

Sun Feb 10 21:58:47 UTC 2013

this whole thing is very interesting.
I know for most of the people I am around, I am the only blind person they 
have ever encountered. I really don't feel like I need to "represent" 
anyone, nor do I want to. I am still the same "self" that I have always 
been, and I think that is hard to grasp because I am sure they all look at 
this change as being devestating. They seem surprised when I do normal 
things.

When my husband and I did the one mile "walk to break the silence" for 
ovarian cancer last fall, we walked behind my sister and my daughter-in-law 
who were engaged in cheery conversation together.  When we reached the end 
of the course, they turned around and saw us behind them - and expressed 
amazement that we were "there"   as if I was not capable of walking along on 
the course. I am very "fit" and workout at the gym nearly every day, as I 
have done most of my life - so why should that be any different now, to the 
point where anyone would think it surprising I would be walking as any other 
normal person walks. Frankly, things like this really scald me, and 
particularly when it is my family members, as they know very well that I 
walk several miles a day on my cardio days, and work out at the gym for over 
an hour on other days. But, there in public with tons of people around us, 
they show surprise that I can walk at all.  I am laughing as I write this - 
it is so silly.

Lynda

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, February 10, 2013 1:06 PM
Subject: [stylist] To ponder- to take to another level

> Lynda,
>
> I have a similar situation that happened yesterday at a hair salon. I
> went to my hair dresser, and the salon was pretty crowded. Before going
> to her chair, I went to the back of the salon to se the restroom. As I
> traveled back, the entire room went silent, as though I had no clue what
> was happening. I turned to one group and gave a little wave, and my
> stylist, who I have known for years, said they waved back, but
> everyone's expressions were as though they had no clue as what to do or
> think.
>
> I lost my sight at 22 after having been totally sighted. For all intense
> and purposes, I'm totally blind- just light perception. At the time, I
> was a vocal performance major and theatre minor at university. I have
> danced since I was able to walk, and I enjoy things like fashion,
> decorating and make-up.
>
> When I lost my vision, I didn't lose my interest or my personality. My
> closest friends assumed I was no longer interested in many of my
> favorite interests and hobbies. They didn't think I would enjoy movies
> or the theatre or shopping. Many stopped calling because they thought we
> would no longer have anything in common.
>
> Well... I have never stopped being interested in these things, nor have
> I stopped pursuing them. As you said, I have had to adapt to doing
> things with different tools and methods at times, but I still find ways
> in which to enjoy my interests and hobbies.
>
> Like you, having been sighted first, I dream as a sighted person. Even
> when I'm suppose to be blind in a dream, I still "see" my dreams and
> even "act" sighted despite that I'm suppose to be blind in the dream.
>
> I have always had a vivid imagination and visualize everything and
> anything. I still have visual memories even when I didn't actually see
> things. I was blind when I married my husband, yet I have a head full of
> visual memories of the day as though I could see, and oddly enough, a
> lot of my memories are more accurate than not. I'm not implying I have
> some sixth sense or spidey senses, but my ability to collect information
> nonvisually and visualize it in my mind, is apparently acting on some
> level allowing me to more accurately depict something in my mind. This
> happens when I watch films or TV even when not described; I'll have a
> recollection of a scene even though I don't actually see what I'm
> watching, and when I discuss a visual medium with people, they will be
> surprised with my depiction of it.
>
> I still go into situations able to visualize what I want and how things
> should look. During a theatre project I was involved in my second round
> of university, I had to direct a scene. I knew exactly how I wanted the
> set, how the actors should move, what the lighting should look like,
> etc. When I have special events, I often know what type of out-fit I'm
> looking for and how I want my hair and make-up to look. Since having
> Declan, I don't wear much make-up, but since losing my sight, I never
> stopped using make-up or applying it myself.
>
> During my PR internship, I was very active with the design team when
> creating logos and graphics and other visual elements. Yes I may need to
> rely on someone else's description, but I can still participate and
> provide an opinion, and that's what I did.
>
> There's a lot of other examples I could give, but you get my point. I'm
> not saying it's always a breeze, or that sight wouldn't be more
> convenient at times, but society so often assumes that disabled people,
> particularly blind people, are so different from the rest of the world.
> We couldn't simply enjoy things like sighted people do. That it's
> amazing we do anything at all. Having grown accustomed to one way of
> life, it's been an adjustment for me as a blind person. Not because I
> had to learn new ways of doing things, but because I'm the same person
> but get treated differently now. The NFB has the saying that the most
> difficult part of blindness isn't blindness itself but how other people
> view blindness, well, I completely identify with this assessment.
>
> So I say all this to demonstrate what I mean when I say I'm still a
> visual person. Visual, to an extent, is a relative term as it turns out.
>
> Sincerely,
> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter, editor, Slate & Style
> Read my blog at:
> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>
> "If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world can
> satisfy, we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for
> another world."
> C. S. Lewis
>
> Message: 4
> Date: Sat, 9 Feb 2013 10:02:02 -0500
> From: "Lynda Lambert" <llambert at zoominternet.net>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
> Message-ID: <77BCAED57F464074A96F5DF86B7F100D at Lambert>
> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
> reply-type=original
>
> Yes, Bridgit, I had just responded to this topic before I read your note
>
> here. I spoke of my husband's inability to spell - which he would not
> appreciate me talking about, I am sure. We will be  married 52 years in
> April,; I guess he would not be surprised that I said this about him.
>
> Yes, I also have retained my visual way of doing things but have had to
> adapt to make it work because I have to do most things non-visually
> these
> days. I am on the Krafters-Korner NFB list and have received many good
> tops
> there to help me re-learn how to do things I used to do. That group has
> been
> wonderful in helping each other through challenges we have in doing
> things
> non-visually.
>
> I have never been blind in my dreams - and I dream constantly. I am
> never
> blind in my own consciousness unless I am faced with an uncomfortable or
>
> frightening situation and then I find that I become very blind at times.
>
> Mostly that happens when I am out and come upon someone who knows me
> well,
> and they do not know that I can tell they are there - and they choose to
> be
> silent and not even acknowlege I am there. This happened yesterday at
> the
> beauty shop.  I was aware that a woman came into the shop as she passed
> by
> me. I had a feeling I might know her because my hairdresser called her
> "Peg." That is an unusual name, and I have only known about two Pegs or
> Peggy's in my life. So I was alert, wondering if this was one that I
> know.
> Shortly, she was seated in the waiting area and I came in there to get
> my
> purse to pay for my services. I was only 3 feet from her, and she was
> facing
> me. I see shadows, but no details, so I could tell the person was
> looking
> directly at me. Absolute quiet! Not a hint that she knew me.  As I had
> been
> listening to her for awhile, I recognized her voice as she spoke with
> others. It was definitely a lady from my knitting group who has known me
> for
> a couple of years. I have sat with her in small groups of knitters at
> different homes. I have been in her home on several occasions. Yet, when
> she
> ran into me at the hair dressers, she chose to be quiet and wait it out
> -
> not in any way indicating we knew each other. My husband arrived, and as
> we
> drove home I told him what has just happened to me. This is the kind of
> thing I mean, when I say at times I feel very blind. This is the kind of
>
> encounter only a blind person would have - because she has no idea I can
>
> tell who she is, so she chose to ignore me.
>
> My daughters and grand daughters often tell me how people will stare at
> me
> because they see me walking with a long white cane. It amazes them how a
>
> perfect stranger will stand beside me in line at a restaurant and
> actually
> turn around and be looking directly at me because they think I cannot
> see
> them. But, I can tell they are doing it. It is times like this when I
> "accidently" hit them with my cane as I walk by.
>
>
> Lynda
>
>
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