[stylist] Vejas - prompt response

[Chris Kuell]

Vejas,

I got your original post, although it went into my junk folder. Having said that, and speaking for myself, I am much more likely to respond to someone's post, which takes time and effort, when they have the courtesy of doing the same for me. This could be why people haven't commented.

I think your story has potential. I saw it as funny, and I hope you meant it that way. I don't mind it being in chapters, but if you keep it that way, I'd like to see more scene development. The number one skill you need to work on, in my opinion, is showing, not telling. This story is almost entirely telling, which doesn't engage the reader.
The second skill you need to work on is what I'll call plausability and logic. In this story, you start with a big banner at the front of the school which everyone can see that makes fun of the two worst students in school. Later, you have the school appalled at the competition, which everyone attended, apparently during school hours. These two events conflict with each other. I think a better approach would be to have the dumbest competition a school sanctioned event. Of course this would never happen in real life, but if your story is consistant and follows some form of logic, the reader will go along with it. The example that comes to mind is the Captain Underpants books I used to read with my kids. They are totally ridiculous, but they are funny and the plot moves in a logical order.           

Thanks for sharing, and I hope my comments help you to improve your stories.

chris