[stylist] Writing prompt- Brown winter

Tue Feb 12 17:31:09 UTC 2013

Lynda

Thanks so much for your comments.

I do think there is a mental landscape behind the physical.  I just read "The World I Live In" by Helen Keller, and she writes extensively about building up mental landscapes.

I think that deep down I was longing for childhood Christmases when I could go home from school for a couple of weeks and not have to worry about anything except what I would get for presents.  This was back before I was old enough to help with the snow removal from the driveway.  It's amazing how the poetic process is a caving expedition to the forgotten parts of the soul.

I was curious about the meaning of "kouros time"; I looked up kouros on Wikipedia and saw a lot about Greek statues of young men.  I'm not sure how that relates to "kouros time".  My curiosity is aroused.

Thanks again for your kind words.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lynda Lambert
Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 10:19 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Writing prompt- Brown winter

OK, Shawn, I have had to return again and again to your poem, and I have things I want to say now about what I see here. I think this poem is compelling.

I have re-read this several times. Something about it kept bringing me back again. That is a good thing. It is memorable.
You know, Shawn, on longer reflection on this poem, I am getting a sense that is is not at all a physical landscape you have brought us unto, in the poem. I am getting much more of a sense of an internal landscape - a psychological as well as a physical state of being.

The sense of "time" here is very sophisticated.  It provides little glimpses into the psyche in tandem with actual landscape language.  You have used "time" as we know it in the passing of season, and combined it with Kouros time. This is quite sophisticated and gives you poem a dynamic tension that is remarkable.I had not picked up on this on my first read, but I have read it many times now, and the more I read it the more I feel I am there on this path, too.  It is an "act of remembering" and "longing"  for something that is lost. I can hear the voice here, speaking of things past (expectations that are felt in the Novembers of our life) ; a description of things as they are now (perhaps temporary, perhaps not).

You give "winter" a mind. Winter is given human qualities.

Quote:
"Does winter want to claim the land or not?
 These snowy days of yore I've almost forgot."

Winter can think and Winter can make decisions that affect a person. Winter considers and decides, and keeps us guessing what it has planned for us next.

You also give winter a warmth that can only come with the falling of snow.

Quote:
"This cold ground chills but does not warm with snow's Christmas invoking sight.
This snowless winter I wish would be gone."

The poetic voice believes that something is not quite right about a winter without snow.  It is the snow that brings the warm feelings of Christmas, and without the snow, there is nothing to celebrate. Because winter has come, but not brought the joy of snow with it, the poetic voice just wants it to come to an end.

I am also reminded of another dimension of snow, and that is:
Snow covers things over, hides them, makes them disappear.  Without this covering, things are left exposed, brown, bare. Snow, here becomes a metaphor for a number of conditions of the mind as well as the human condition.

Shawn, this poem is an excellent one, in my mind. In just a few lines you have brought out a universal truth. I say, very well done.

Lynda

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, February 11, 2013 3:37 PM
Subject: [stylist] Writing prompt- Brown winter

> Yes, pretty obvious, grin. California Loving, right by the Mamas and
> Papas?I share your sentiments. I like the pacing and flow of this. Good
> job.
>
> Sincerely,
> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter, editor, Slate & Style
> Read my blog at:
> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>
> "If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world can
> satisfy, we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for
> another world."
> C. S. Lewis
>
> Message: 26
> Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:55:06 -0500
> From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List (stylist at nfbnet.org)'"
> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] Writing prompt (brown winter).
> Message-ID:
>
> <44EB7EEFF5A7374B9043B34E0A44139A495FCC9AD4 at EXMAIL07A.exh.prod.hud.gov>
>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>
> OK. I'll try it.  I think you should be able to guess the song that the
> first line comes from.
>
> All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray
> but I see no snowy white.
> This cold ground chills but does not warm
> with snow's Christmas invoking sight.
> This snowless winter I wish would be gone.
> It seems November caries on and on.
> Does winter want to claim the land or not?
> These snowy days of yore I've almost forgot.
> This dithering weather leaves me with a frown.
> Be snowy or be gone oh' winter brown.
>
> Shawn Jacobson
> Mathematical Statistician
> Phone# (202)-475-8759
> Fax# (202)-485-0275
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Subject: Digest Footer
>
> _______________________________________________
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> End of stylist Digest, Vol 106, Issue 16
> ****************************************
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site
> http://www.writers-division.net/
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> stylist:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/llambert%40zoominternet.net
> 

_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site
http://www.writers-division.net/
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/shawn.d.jacobson%40hud.gov