[stylist] Writing prompt- Brown winter

[Lynda Lambert]

OK, Shawn, I have had to return again and again to your poem, and I have 
things I want to say now about what I see here. I think this poem is 
compelling.

I have re-read this several times. Something about it kept bringing me back 
again. That is a good thing. It is memorable.
You know, Shawn, on longer reflection on this poem, I am getting a sense 
that is is not at all a physical landscape you have brought us unto, in the 
poem. I am getting much more of a sense of an internal landscape - a 
psychological as well as a physical state of being.

The sense of "time" here is very sophisticated.  It provides little glimpses 
into the psyche in tandem with actual landscape language.  You have used 
"time" as we know it in the passing of season, and combined it with Kouros 
time. This is quite sophisticated and gives you poem a dynamic tension that 
is remarkable.I had not picked up on this on my first read, but I have read 
it many times now, and the more I read it the more I feel I am there on this 
path, too.  It is an "act of remembering" and "longing"  for something that 
is lost. I can hear the voice here, speaking of things past (expectations 
that are felt in the Novembers of our life) ; a description of things as 
they are now (perhaps temporary, perhaps not).

You give "winter" a mind. Winter is given human qualities.

Quote:
"Does winter want to claim the land or not?
 These snowy days of yore I've almost forgot."

Winter can think and Winter can make decisions that affect a person. Winter 
considers and decides, and keeps us guessing what it has planned for us 
next.

You also give winter a warmth that can only come with the falling of snow.

Quote:
"This cold ground chills but does not warm
with snow's Christmas invoking sight.
This snowless winter I wish would be gone."

The poetic voice believes that something is not quite right about a winter 
without snow.  It is the snow that brings the warm feelings of Christmas, 
and without the snow, there is nothing to celebrate. Because winter has 
come, but not brought the joy of snow with it, the poetic voice just wants 
it to come to an end.

I am also reminded of another dimension of snow, and that is:
Snow covers things over, hides them, makes them disappear.  Without this 
covering, things are left exposed, brown, bare. Snow, here becomes a 
metaphor for a number of conditions of the mind as well as the human 
condition.

Shawn, this poem is an excellent one, in my mind. In just a few lines you 
have brought out a universal truth. I say, very well done.





Lynda





----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, February 11, 2013 3:37 PM
Subject: [stylist] Writing prompt- Brown winter


> Yes, pretty obvious, grin. California Loving, right by the Mamas and
> Papas?I share your sentiments. I like the pacing and flow of this. Good
> job.
>
> Sincerely,
> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter, editor, Slate & Style
> Read my blog at:
> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>
> "If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world can
> satisfy, we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for
> another world."
> C. S. Lewis
>
> Message: 26
> Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:55:06 -0500
> From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List (stylist at nfbnet.org)'"
> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] Writing prompt (brown winter).
> Message-ID:
>
> <44EB7EEFF5A7374B9043B34E0A44139A495FCC9AD4 at EXMAIL07A.exh.prod.hud.gov>
>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>
> OK. I'll try it.  I think you should be able to guess the song that the
> first line comes from.
>
> All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray
> but I see no snowy white.
> This cold ground chills but does not warm
> with snow's Christmas invoking sight.
> This snowless winter I wish would be gone.
> It seems November caries on and on.
> Does winter want to claim the land or not?
> These snowy days of yore I've almost forgot.
> This dithering weather leaves me with a frown.
> Be snowy or be gone oh' winter brown.
>
> Shawn Jacobson
> Mathematical Statistician
> Phone# (202)-475-8759
> Fax# (202)-485-0275
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Subject: Digest Footer
>
> _______________________________________________
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> End of stylist Digest, Vol 106, Issue 16
> ****************************************
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site
> http://www.writers-division.net/
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> stylist:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/llambert%40zoominternet.net
>