[stylist] Representing blindness

Tue Feb 12 21:08:52 UTC 2013

Bridgit,
I'm so glad you had such a positive experience surrounding your pregnancy
and Decklin's first little while. It would not have been a good time to have
to deal with stupid people. I loved that you slammed the door in the face of
the nurse who didn't think you could take a shower. Years ago, I might have
lost my cool -- since I did regularly in the face of being treated like I
couldn't do anything, but nowadays, I've gotten to the point where I enjoy
making my point calmly -- I think it makes them squirm more than those old
outbursts. Once, when a nurse in a doctor's office was trying to push and
drag me, I said, "May I guess? They haven't taught you anything about
dealing with blind people." Of course, they hadn't, and it did get her
attention. I still could have strangled her, truth be known.
Donna
Donna 

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Bridgit
Pollpeter
Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 12:26 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] Representing blindness

Donna,

This made me laugh, though I'm sure it was frustrating to live through,
grin.

Years ago, I was in hospital for dehydration. I had a nurse who would not
let me take a shower on my own. At first, I gave her the benefit of the
doubt and assured her I felt fine and not weak or dizzy. She actually
proceeded to explain that since I was blind, she couldn't leave me alone to
shower. I explained that it was not 1880, and that if I can handle living on
my own working and going about life, I could handle a shower, not to mention
I shower alone at home. She still wouldn't leave.
I stood facing her, and yes, I did start to lose my cool. I asked why she
felt this way, and what, if any, hospital rules stated she had to help me.
She just kept insisting I couldn't shower alone because it was too risky. So
I slammed the door on her. I assume she left, and no one else mentioned the
situation.

During my pregnancy, I had four hospitalizations, and each time I was placed
on the Labor and Delivery floor, so the nurses got to know Ross and I. By
the time I went into labor, most the nurses had met me. No one ever had a
huge problem with either of us, though a few would act surprised when either
of us did simple things like walk the eight feet to the bathroom alone or go
down to the NICU to see Declan, but all-in-all it was a positive experience.

The six weeks Declan spent in the NICU was pretty positive too. It helped
that we were up there every day; we got to the hospital on our own; we
participated in all the same cares as any other parent like taking temps,
changing diapers and feeding.

When it was determined Declan would need a G-button feeding tube, no one
hesitated thinking we couldn't handle it. They let us always lead the way
when it came to blindness. A couple of older nurses had a few ideas but
nothing crazy. We feel so blessed to have had this experience since not
everyone does. Our pediatrician is great too. She has never acted as though
blindness is a huge obstacle rendering us incapable of being parents.

I have some Stories from when I was training at the Iowa Department of the
Blind though, LOL! Those are stories for another time, but boy-oh-boy, my
temper was more easily sparked back then, grin.

Bridgit
Message: 23
Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2013 22:28:03 -0500
From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- exercise and representing blindness
Message-ID: <B209950D620C42CE8CD1350E80EA1AC8 at OwnerHP>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="us-ascii"

Last summer, I had to go to the hospital for several days to receive IV
antibiotics for a skin infection. I wasn't sick, but the nurses thought I
should call for help to get to the bathroom. I didn't. My husband showed me
how to unplug the IV, drape the cord onto the pole, and where to hold it to
pull it. It should be said that I had a private room, and the bathroom was
about 8 feet from my bed, with no obstacles in the way.

Then, the nurses found out I'd actually been to the bathroom without calling
them. They wanted me to sign a waiver of liability. I asked them why, and
they said it was standard with patients who have conditions that effect
their balance and make them a "fall risk." I asked what kind of conditions.
They didn't want to say blindness, so they said MS, and Parkinson's and a
few other things. I pointed out that I didn't have any of those things and
acted perplexed that they thought I had a condition that made me a fall
risk. Still no mention of the blindness thing. 

They insisted I sign it anyway, and I asked them if they had it in an
alternative format such as Braille. They sputtered. They said they'd read it
to me. I explained that I didn't sign legal documents without consulting a
lawyer. I further explained -- just as nicely and matter-of-factly as I
could -- that if they would like me to sign it, and seeing as I need a
lawyer, that they could pay for me to get one.

This caused a great kafuffle in the hospital. The nurse supervisor came in
and said she talked to the nurse who'd been waving the form around, and that
nurse had the impression that she had offended me somehow. As calmly as I
could, I explained that I have had many experiences which I have found
offensive throughout my life, and that I recognized this as one of them, but
I wasn't planning to go into a snit about it. When my husband got there, he
pointed out to her that we are all "fall risks." They couldn't disagree with
this, but it didn't make them very happy.

The night nurse came in and asked me to explain my idea of how I would like
to be treated -- what I would consider to be good care from the staff. I
first explained that I wanted to be kept abreast of whatever info they had
about my health -- if they're taking my blood pressure, I want to know what
it is, for instance. Then, I told her that I wanted people to refrain from
assuming that there were things I couldn't do because of my blindness. I
assured her that if I needed help, I would ask, and that if they were
uncomfortable, they could ask me if I could do something without help and
even ask me to explain how I would do it. The important thing was to not
make assumptions based on their understanding of what blindness means. I
pointed out to them some of the things that blind people are doing, which I
think some of them thought I was making up.

The next morning, my doctor came in, and I asked him if the nurses had told
him what a problem I'd been giving them. He said they had. I patiently told
him my side of the story. I was very proud of myself that I never lost my
temper, raised my voice or used a sarcastic tone (I almost always use a
sarcastic tone, so this was a major accomplishment). Everything seemed to
calm down after that, though I certainly felt the tension especially with
the original nurses who had the problem. 

Meanwhile, there were people there who'd had surgery and were suffering from
debilitating conditions. They needed someone to help them, and they were
hassling me about going the the bathroom on my own likeI was a one-year-old.
After I got home, I considered writing a consciousness-raising letter to the
hospital administration, but decided that this was one of those times when
you have to pick your battles. I'd said my piece and had plenty of things
that needed catching up on.

Oh well, I think that qualifies as a rant.
Donna

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