[stylist] Comments Barbara's prompt

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Barbara,

As always you write with a lot of emotion. I'm not sure how I feel about
the silent rain drops metaphor because I've seen this metaphor a lot,
and yet it does fit with this poem. The part about the 40 pound
six-year-old is a powerful moment that sticks out to me. I applaud your
ability to rhyme because I can never do it, grin.

Bridgit
Message: 16
Date: Wed, 13 Feb 2013 11:13:05 -0600
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] Barbara's prompt
Message-ID: <SNT139-ds1835E05D66BAC9FC0EE173EB080 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"

  WHEN WORDS FAIL

 By Barbara Hammel



MY words like silent raindrops fell.

How could I get them all to see?

I shrieked from sunup till sundown,

They were beside themselves with me.



I couldn't make them understand.

I couldn't show them what was wrong,

So I headbutted, scratched, kicked, bit

And hit and screamed the whole day long.



They scolded me for hurting them,

But tell me, what else could I do?

My words like silent raindrops fell.

I don't know how we made it through.



The only times I didn't shriek

Were those few hours when I would sleep

Or when Mama would rock with me.

For six long months I'd shriek and weep.



We saw the doctor many  times.

My words like silent raindrops fell.

He checked me out from head to toe,

He shook his head. He couldn't tell.



I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't drink,

At six I weighed just forty pounds.

I tried to say my tummy hurt,

But all they heard were oo-ah sounds.



They had no clue of hernias

Till Teacher saw the telltale swell.

But even after that was fixed

My words like silent raindrops fell.



Another long two years would pass

Before another cause was clear.

Helicobacter pylori!

A cause of ulcers, so I hear.



And even now, at ten years old,

My words like silent raindrops fall,

I think the words but cannot speak.

My words like silent raindrops fall.