[stylist] Prompt- when we dance together
Bridgit Pollpeter
bpollpeter at hotmail.com
Fri Feb 15 19:04:25 UTC 2013
Lynda,
I'm not familiar with the song you use, but I'm also not a big country
fan, though I think older country like this is better than most country
today, smile.
This poem is vivid and it really came to life in my mind.
I like your word choice which adds to the evocativeness of the poem. And
I like the pacing too.
You have some great lines, and I related to the subject matter, which
I'm sure we all can.
My favorite lines are:
We spiral downward - a bizarre fairyland tale.
Wild rock-n-roll women in masquerade
Neon surges through our veins.
on the rough pavement of the dance floor
I raise the fist of my icy cold left hand
Reach out to catch the storm.
And oh, you did such a good job at incorporating your lyrics. Like
Chris, it's very organic to the poem. I would have never guessed if I
didn't know.
Bridgit
Message: 2
Date: Thu, 14 Feb 2013 14:06:28 -0500
From: "Lynda Lambert" <llambert at zoominternet.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Prompt_When we dance together
Message-ID: <B3CC8C6118DD4963B1FB4672DD2B3E73 at Lambert>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Whew! My poem is now ready!
First line is from a song - as required.
Some other images from the same song appear in the poem, too.
I have copied it below, and attached it as well.
Here we go!
"When We Dance Together"
When we dance together, my world's in disguise
Concealed behind black leather jackets
Dense fringes snap in the wind
We spiral downward - a bizarre fairyland tale.
Concealed behind black leather jackets
I hunker down against the brisk mountain air
We spiral downward - a bizarre fairyland tale
Wild rock-n-roll women in masquerade.
I hunker down against the brisk mountain air
The throbbing steel tank between my legs
Wild rock-n-roll women in masquerade
Neon surges through our veins.
The throbbing steel tank between my legs
with the rumble of Cobra Drags
Neon surges through our veins.
Lean into the slant wind that blows us around.
with the rumble of Cobra Drags
We ride side by side, with stars in our eyes
Lean into the slant wind that blows us around.
I raise the fist of my icy cold left hand
We ride side by side, with stars in our eyes,
on the rough pavement of the dance floor
I raise the fist of my icy cold left hand
Reach out to catch the storm.
On the rough pavement of the dance floor
Laughing with the painful gusts of rain
Reach out to catch the storm
Dancing together in disguise.
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