[stylist] Sharing a pantoum - Pike's Peak
Lynda Lambert
llambert at zoominternet.net
Fri Mar 29 16:19:39 UTC 2013
Cheers! Here is to you, Shawn.
Really nice reflection and comparison between two different kinds of
places - mountain peaks, and low lands.
I will write a short critique of the poem as I see it after reading it
several times.
the poem is divided into three (3) distinct places - one very high
(mountain), one very low (lowland), and one inbetween those two.
The poetic voice writes with desire and longing from a low place of exile,
where he is standing.
The Lowland has: Murky Air, murky murky air; Exile. More exile. A far
distance from the "west" and it has no color. A place void of color, I think
would be the ultimate kind of exile - it's unimaginable to any human.
The air and sky, the place that is in between the two locations is
"sacred." It is not a place the poet can stand on, it is ethereal, like a
thought that persists within the mind. Yet, the space is one that keeps the
poetic "I" in exile, provides a barrier, yet it also provides transportation
through the thoughts to a different and distant place. The sky, in the end,
finally holds color as well - and it is the same color as the mountain
holds.
Interesting that blue is used here - as blue in its most rich shades always
denote holiness and royalty.
The Mountain Peak has: color (jewel blue); shorp edged and distinct clouds;
a place of mysteries; and it has an exact location (WEST). We never really
know the location of the Lowlands, but we can discern it is the opposite of
the Mountain Peak in the West.
I do see a typo at the beginning of one of your final sentences - there is a
W hanging there in space -
Otherwise, I would not change anything at all. You have written a really
nice poem! It is engaging, and I wanted to read it several times, and did.
Very nice work.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, March 29, 2013 10:09 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Sharing a pantoum -Adding Color to your work
> OK, after reading your pentoum, I was inspired to try one of my own.
>
> Shawn
>
> Peak view
> by Shawn Jacobson
>
> At altitude, the sky shows jewel blue,
> above the lowland's murky air.
> Across this sacred sky
> clouds sail on sharp edged, distinct.
>
> Above the lowland's murky air,
> I turn my gaze westward.
> Clouds sail on sharp edged distinct
> above majestic mountains.
>
> I turn my gaze westward
> to where Pike's Peak stands tall,
> Above majestic mountains
> where my soul would fly.
>
> To where Pike's Peak stands tall,
> far from my lowland exile,
> to where my soul would fly.
> I would seek mountain mysteries.
>
> Far from my lowland exile
> across this sacred sky,
> W would seek mountain mysteries.
> At altitude, the sky shows jewel blue.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lynda
> Lambert
> Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 8:28 AM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Sharing a pantoum -Adding Color to your work
>
> Good Morning,
> Barbara, since you asked me the difference between the two blues we were
> talking about, I thought I would write about how color is achieved in
> paintings. That is what I know to my core. Just as color in a painting
> evokes a mood, so it does in a poem.
>
> The same principles will work with words, when you stop to consider how to
> achieve color in writing, too.
> The choice we make when writing about a color, will cause our work to have
> a mood and give the reader a very particular sense of place, or feeling.
>
> Speaking of colors - there are as many colors as there are stars in the
> sky.
> But to begin, we can break them down into families of color. This is very
> basic. You probably learned how to use a "color wheel" as a child, or in
> primary school? The Color Wheel has only SIX colors and from those SIX,
> all other colors are derived. Remember the Roy G. Biv way of remembering
> your colors? Red - Orange - Yellow- Green - Blue - Indigo - and Violet.
>
> So when you are talking about Azure Blue, Cerulean Blue, Midnight Blue,
> Baby Blue, Sky Blue, Cobalt Blue, or any of the other zillion blues - they
> are all in ONE COLOR FAMILY, to begin with. So you begin there.
>
> Now, how do we get all those different BLUES? There are a number of ways
> to do that. When you are painting, you normally have one or two different
> tube paints in two different blues - for example: I would have a
> "cerulean blue tube" and another much deeper blue tube of paint, such as
> "Thalo Blue."
> This will give me a far wider range of options and here is why.
>
> Cerulean Blue is mid-tone color and an opaque paint - that means you
> cannot see through it at all when it is put on the palette, no matter how
> thin you apply it. It is very dense.
>
> Thalo blue, on the other hand is quite a highly saturated color (very
> different than Cerulean) thin and it is transparent. It is so powerful of
> a color that you can only mix a little tad of it in with your other
> paints. It will completely take over and it will take a lot of skill to be
> able to use Thalo blue successfully.
>
> Basically, you can think of a color application in painting as one of
> three
> things: transparent, translucent, or Opaque.
>
> That would be how the paint appears as it is mixed on the palette and of
> course it would appear that way on the canvas after it is applied. It
> would most likely be applied in very thin layers, one upon the other. As
> the layers are worked over each other, you would bring in very subtle
> nuances of colors - each affecting the previous layers - this would be how
> the "old masters" painted.
> Watercolors are transparent colors typically. To get those kinds of
> transparencies with oils you have to add other mediums to it, such as
> linseed oil and a touch of turpentine - and there are other materials you
> can use as well to get the oils more fluid and thinned down. By nature,
> they are heavy, and have to be "worked" to get them ready for applying to
> the canvas.
>
> The other popular kind of paint for modern painters is acrylics. Acrylics
> are very different than the previous two mentioned above. Acrylic can also
> be transparent - this is done by adding lots of water to the paint; and,
> or, spraying the surface of the canvas with a spray of water from a pistol
> grip bottle or atomizer. You can get very ethereal and lovely surfaces and
> colors with acrylics. The are actually water based paints, and people love
> them because you don't have toxic chemicals to mix with them, and you do
> not have strong odors in the studio.
> You can layer the acrylics masterfully, just as you can the oil paints,
> once you learn how to do that - it takes time and lots of practice! But,
> they are wonderful paints.
>
> There are many other kinds of paints, too, but these three are the most
> used ones.
>
> To get the myriad of colors you may want, you can learn how to add various
> amounts of other colors into your mixture - this takes a lifetime to
> learn.
>
> White can be on your palette, too. But, an amateur painter will think that
> white will give you the lighter colors, and will not realize that the
> white will weaken your colors and cause them to appear chalky. A pro will
> know how to mix the colors with other colors and barely touch the pile of
> white on the palette - it is used very carefully. White is NOT a COLOR.
> And, there is nothing that is white in nature. There are things that
> appear to be white, but they are really a mixture of many other very
> subtle colors that give the illusion of being white.
>
> And, then, there is BLACK. Black in ever, ever, found in nature. Like
> white, it is an illusion and when a person learns color theory they will
> quickly see there is no such thing as anything that is black. The very
> darkest hue or value of any color, gives the illusion of being black to
> the untrained amateur.
>
> You will always see lots of primitive, naieve, artists using both white
> and black in their paintings. This is because they have had no training
> and have no understanding of color theory.
>
> A professional landscape or portrait painter will never have black paint
> in their palette at all. Black will do the opposite of what white will
> do - it will flatten your colors and dull them down, and distort them into
> a garish mess. And, BLACK is not a color, either. Black, however, will be
> the joy of a contemporary painter - and it is used as a statement and a
> thumbing of the nose to traditional "rules." Before I started my BFA in
> Painting, I had been a painter for about 10 years. I was traditionally
> trained, and was soaked in "color theory." My work was already being shown
> in museums nationally and published in magazines before I ever started my
> undergraduate education.
>
> In undergrad school, I went out and bought gallons of black paint and
> large brushes from the hardware store and plunged into a new world!
> Defiance!
> Dissonance!
>
> In your writing, you will learn to use color to get the nuances you desire
> as well. It is those subtle nuances that make the work sing. When using
> the name of a color, think about what that word really means - the history
> of it's use; how it looks; how it would feel; how it might smell; and how
> it fits into your goals for that poem.
>
> Myrna's poem, "Azure Skies" has it all and that's why it "works."
>
>
> Lynda
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 1:17 AM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Sharing a pantoum Azure Skies Thank you all!
>
>
>> Oooo! You've used cerulean in a poem? Maybe I'll have to look up my
>> poems that have mentioned azure or cerulean. (I might even want to try
>> my
>> hand at making them better but I have this thing in my head that tells
>> me:
>> once they are done, they are done. You said what you wanted at the time
>> so leave it alone. Rewriting would make me consider it a whole new poem.
>> Crazy, I know, but it is what it is.)
>> Barbara
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. -- Carl Sandburg
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: KajunCutie926 at aol.com
>> Sent: Monday, March 25, 2013 1:04 PM
>> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Sharing a pantoum Azure Skies Thank you all!
>>
>> Thank you to all for your kind words and sharing your own unique
>> perspectives about the poem.
>> I too have folders.. a main NFB folder and sub-folders. I am very
>> humbled
>> that others have created a folder for my work.
>> Shawn nailed it about the contrast of azure which denotes beauty and
>> light
>> and the sorrow and darkness. This poem was inspired by the time after my
>> husband's death. It was so unexpected that I found myself in a dark place
>> but at the same time I wanted to embrace the sky. The discussion of
>> colors
>> was really interesting to me as I use color in much of my work and have
>> even
>> written about cerulean. Now I am thinking about cyan and how to work
>> that
>> into a piece.
>> Again thank you so much! Now off to do more reading.
>> Myrna
>>
>>
>> In a message dated 3/25/2013 12:00:47 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
>> llambert at zoominternet.net writes:
>>
>> I have been thinking lately about the words that we use over the years
>> in
>> our own writing. As I am working on my archives, I am coming across
>> some
>> words that are very consistently in my lexicon over a long time - since
>> the
>> 70s. A project I would like to tackle when I have a space of time to do
>> it
>> would be to explore my own vocabulary and begin to weave the pieces
>> together
>> as I encounter them - a research project into my own work.
>>
>> Azure is really a state of mind.
>> I am sure I have never used that word in anything I have written - it's
>> a
>> very beautiful word that evokes so many hues - Reading Myrna's poem
>> seemed
>> to open up a window for me this morning - a window into the heavens
>> because
>> it implies a kind of transparent or translucency.
>> Lynda
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, March 25, 2013 11:25 AM
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Sharing a pantoum Azure Skies
>>
>>
>>>I have a Myrna folder, too.
>>> Azure is one of those words I work in to poems on occasion. My other
>>> favorite sky color is cerulean.
>>> So, Lynda, what is the difference between azure and cerulean? And I
>>> thought cyan was the color that is an even mix of blue and green,
>>> somewhere between aqua and turquoise.
>>> Barbara
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. -- Carl Sandburg
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Lynda Lambert
>>> Sent: Monday, March 25, 2013 8:54 AM
>>> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Sharing a pantoum Azure Skies
>>>
>>> Here is my thoughts after reading this excellent poem:
>>>
>>> This Pantoum is so rich in mythological imagery. It is ethereal.
>>>
>>> Your choice of the two noun, Zephyr, combined with Breeze,
>>>
>>> gives the feeling of lightness,fluidity, and fragility.
>>>
>>> And then you pull into this combination the color that is historically
>>> mythological - Azure!
>>>
>>> Together the two words denote anything that is very fine and light, and
>>> even
>>> magical in nature.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> The Zephyr is such a fragile kind of breeze - in ancient times it was
>>> known
>>> as the "West Wind."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Azure always makes us bring out thoughts to the heights, upwards, to
>>> the
>>> sky, and even the atmosphere. It is a delicate blue, yet rich in value.
>> At
>>> times it is called "Alice Blue."
>>>
>>> In early times, painters would not use Azure as a pigment because they
>>> believed it to be unstable, but in time, it was realized that it was
>>> indeed
>>> a stable color and after that we began to see it brought into
>>> paintings.
>>> Typically, it would be used in paintings of sacred events - it denoted
>>> royalty, and holiness.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> I think your poem gives allusions to these things so well, and
>>> particularly
>>> it works because of the Pantoum form. I noticed immediately that you
>>> used
>>> the traditional Pantoum form, using end rhymes. You did it so well that
>>> the
>>> poem does not have the kind of rigidity that often comes via a rhymed
>>> ending. Your rhyming end words retain the lightness you created from
>>> the
>>> first line.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> In photography and on the web, Azure is a color that is also called
>> Cyan.
>>>
>>> Often this color is called light sky blue, baby blue, and silver lake
>>> blue.
>>> I have a feeling that this color will be found in the art of just about
>>> any
>>> civilization, and it will be used with the depiction of things from
>>> Nature.
>>>
>>> I suspect you could do an entire research project on the topic of
>>> "Azure
>>> Skies." It is that BIG in scope, I think.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> OH, the other thing that was strange as I read this poem, is that I had
>>> read
>>>
>>> "brush" as "blush" without realizing it. So I went back once I
>>> realized
>> I
>>> had mis-read the poem, and I purposely read it as "blush" in those
>>> places -
>>> and WOW, again, the idea of painting and the movement of the artist's
>> hand
>>> was so clear to me.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> This is a very "painterly poem."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Thanks for sharing.
>>>
>>> I started a Myrna folder, so I can keep some of your gems - this one is
>> in
>>> it!
>>>
>>> Lynda
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> My Blog: http://www.walkingbyinnervision.blogspot.com
>>> My Website: http://lyndalambert.com
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: <KajunCutie926 at aol.com>
>>> To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Sunday, March 24, 2013 10:28 PM
>>> Subject: [stylist] Sharing a pantoum Azure Skies
>>>
>>>
>>>> Okay here is my last pantoum which I believe was written about three
>>>> months
>>>> ago... I also attached it as a rich text file...
>>>>
>>>> Azure Skies
>>>>
>>>> That I could soar across azure skies
>>>> To leave my thoughts upon zephyr's breeze
>>>> And ask no quarter or compromise
>>>> When night time comes and darkness bleeds
>>>>
>>>> To leave my thoughts upon zephyr's breeze
>>>> Brush stroked dreams, watercolor hued
>>>> When night time comes and darkness bleeds
>>>> Upon the echo of my soul renewed
>>>>
>>>> Brush stroked dreams, watercolor hued
>>>> They fill the heart where grief had grown
>>>> Upon the echo of my soul renewed
>>>> The truth of these thoughts unknown
>>>>
>>>> They fill the heart where grief had grown
>>>> And ask no quarter or compromise
>>>> The truth of these thoughts unknown
>>>> That I could soar across azure skies
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> nfbnet.org/kajuncutie926%40aol.com
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>
>>>
>>>
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>>
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>
>
>
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