[stylist] balancing with fiction

[Lynda Lambert]

Robert, I had the exact same reaction. I stopped JAWS and went back to have 
it read again. I was so surprised by this.
Lynda



----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, March 29, 2013 10:19 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] balancing with fiction


> Chris
>
> Enjoyed the piece -- good flowing characterization. One question - in the
> first sentence in your description of the  philosopher you write-
> "....Valmore is a towering five-foot-six, bald..."
>
> Interesting you have towering and five foot six in the same description. 
> One
> of my first thoughts was it was a mistake. The next thought was MMM, I
> suppose a small dog peeing on a fireplug might look up and think 
> "towering."
> But then, the it incongruence in the modifier "towering" to the guys 
> height
> does add an interesting twist of thought, of --- maybe personal appearance
> coupled with force of personality, may give him this orah; or so he may
> think so.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Chris Kuell
> Sent: Thursday, March 28, 2013 8:06 PM
> To: Stylist
> Subject: [stylist] balancing with fiction
>
> There's been a lot of poetry on the list of late, which is great. But I
> thought I'd balance the mix with an experimental piece of fiction. Just
> beware--the language is rated R.
>
> Barroom Philosopher
>
>
>
> By Chris Kuell
>
>
>
> Valmore is a towering five-foot-six, bald, with a mortar-block neck. His
> shoulders are broad and strong, like a fireman, or a long shoreman, or the
> foreman of a coal mining crew. You've seen him bounce druggies, 
> skin-heads,
> wanna-be prize fighters--bend a quarter with his bare hands.
>
>
>
> Valmore says, "One more."
>
>
>
> Valmore says he thinks the Giants may pull it out this year, and never
> underestimate the Red Sox.
>
>
>
> Valmore says be good to your mother. Help her out. Explain the DVD player,
> again, and no back talk.
>
>
>
> Valmore says that the most wonderful sight in the world is the head of a
> trout as it breaks the surface of the water and swallows the mayfly on the
> end of your line.
>
>
>
> Valmore puts down a fresh beer and says, "This one's on the house."
>
>
>
> Valmore says wind is the most under-estimated element, and grass shacks 
> are
> flat shacks. People who buy waterfront property get what they deserve.
>
>
>
> Valmore says to stay away from high tech stocks for a while. Put your 
> money
> on Chinese imports and wind mills.
>
>
>
> Valmore says Giuliani is dangerous, says this while toweling the
> bar--polishing, whispering, lilting, raving--that thick stump of a head
> turned down your way and cocked to one side.
>
>
>
> Valmore says the finest moment in the world is when you walk out of a 
> stuck
> elevator and breathe in fresh air, even if it's full of second hand smoke,
> the stench of leftover kimchi from somebody's lunch, and some old lady's
> overly-floral perfume.
>
>
>
> Valmore says that if you're lost, ask a blind guy for directions-they 
> always
> know where they are.
>
>
>
> Valmore says, "One more."
>
>
>
> Valmore says the most complicated thing in the world is to lead a simple
> life, so you'd better be starting. And always wear a tie to a funeral.
>
>
>
> Valmore says don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the 
> night.
> Never advise someone to go to war, or to get married.
>
>
>
> Valmore says the city is no place for a dog.
>
>
>
> Valmore says he's never had a bad blowjob. Some were better than others, 
> but
> he's never had a bad one.
>
>
>
> Valmore says to keep track of the shadows that come up behind you on the
> sidewalk, because the bastards are waiting to kill you.
>
>
>
> Valmore says, "Last one."
>
>
>
> Valmore says nothing is as far away as one minute ago. And regret over
> wasted time is more wasted time.
>
>
>
> Valmore says to beware of young doctors and old barbers. Never let a 
> doctor
> with a big class ring give you a rectal exam.
>
>
>
> Valmore turns the lights down, pours himself a shot and says the best 
> thing
> you can do is comfort a crying child. Hold her hand, make him laugh, give
> 'em a hug. Fuck what anybody else says.
>
>
>
> Valmore says, "Go home."
>
>
>
>
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