[stylist] Flash fiction

[Atty Rose]

Thank you so much! I haven't turned back to it yet but I have saved 
everyones comments and will make sure I fix the errors.

I'm working up my blind wellness stuff and am very excited about it also!

Take care all,
me

If you would like to be friends on facebook I am Atty Rose.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Applebutter Hill" <applebutterhill at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2014 10:55 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Flash fiction


> Hi Atty,
> Edgy and quirky with a message. I like it. I'm still thinking about
> e-rights.
>
> There are a few typing issues that you might want to fix -- extra spaces
> between words, capital when not called for, but nothing else jumped out 
> and
> bit me.
>
> 1. There's a Space between the quotation mark and first word:Block quote
> " E-Fritz is now part of the family," Desman said imitating their father.
> "It will teach you kids responsibility." He waved the scoop controller. 
> "Dad
> installed the olfactory plug-in, so now you
> Block quote end
>
> 2. It's entrance - a-n-c-e not e
> Block quote
> entrence with her body, blue eyes blazing.
> Block quote end
>
> 3. Exttra space after with
> Block quote
> Karly turned red with  fury, "You're a stinky
> Block quote end
>
> 4. Are you sure you don't want a comma after "Oh?
> And, did you mean to drop the 'd from "I'd" -- "I' kiss your beautiful 
> lips
> ...?"
> Also, I'd make "And sent it into a full sentence. I'm guessing you left 
> this
> as a fragment because adding it to the previous sentence would have made 
> it
> a bit run-on . I like the two previous sentences the way they are, so the
> only thing for it would be to add a beginning, such as, "before she could
> stop him, he sent it." or "Eyes glued to her face for a reaction, he sent
> it."
>
> Block quote
> Desman pressed return v-mail and made smooching sounds into the camera. He
> fluttered his lashes and said in a soft breathy voice, "Oh e-Anna, I' kiss
> your beautiful lips, if you had them." And sent it.
> Block quote end
> HTH,
> Donna
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Atty Rose
> Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2014 12:50 PM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: [stylist] Flash fiction
>
> Hi all, here is my try at flash fiction. I am going to submit it to Daily
> Science fiction. I belong to their list and enjoy the little scenes they
> post.
>
> I hope the attachment works.
>
> Atty
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site
> http://writers.nfb.org/
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> stylist:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/attyrose%40cox.net