[stylist] help! need some ideas for this poem

[Barbara Hammel]

Alright, though the last stanza is still a bit clunky, I like the idea of making the rest of the poem play off what Springtime says.  The only stanza I’ve succeeded in changing was the first one.  What I can’t figure out how to do is change the rest of them.  Do you think that frustration fits that hot wind?  What emotions do you think I could work with to get the other two seasons in?

Here’s the background.  Saturday it was 85 degrees here and windy!  Yesterday it rained steadily with a falling temperature which culminated in a bit more than a dusting of snow on the ground this morning.
April must be my favorite month to write about since this is my third or fourth poem about her unpredictable weather.

Barbara


I anxiously looked for Springtime
And glimpsed the faintest hint of green,
But she blew with hot frustration,
Like scorching Summer, through the screen.

I anxiously looked for Springtime
And saw her blue was in the sky,
But Autumn's fallen leaves
Were scurrying and whirling by.

I anxiously looked for Springtime
And noticed the trees a-bud
But Winter laid a snow veil
Over the new-made mud.

I anxiously looked for Springtime
And April laughed behind her hand,
Saying "I'm hot then cold and dry
Then wet! Isn't springtime grand?"

I anxiously looked for Springtime
(Or what I thought that spring should be),
But she puffed, flashed and roared and cried,
"No one EVER understands me!"




Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.--Robert Frost
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