[stylist] help! need some ideas for this poem

[Barbara Hammel]

Yeah, that's part of my problem too.  The lines kept getting longer the more 
I wrote and I couldn't figure out how to shorten them.  But wouldn't it be 
better if I figured out how to give each of the seasons an emotion instead 
of just saying what they did?
Barbara




Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.--Robert Frost
-----Original Message----- 
From: Chris Kuell
Sent: Wednesday, April 16, 2014 8:29 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] help! need some ideas for this poem

Hey Barbara,

I know what you mean--it was sunny and 72 here on Monday, and now we have 2
inches of snow on the ground. So yes, spring can be fickle and
temperamental.

I don't really have suggestions for this poem, except to say that your
stanzas aren't uniform in number of syllables, or meter, I believe the right
phrase is. So to me, the words are fine, but the rhythm is off.

chris



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