[stylist] That Look: It's not what you think

[April Brown via stylist]

Hi  Bridgit Pollpeter,

    The more I think about the event, the more it disturbs me.

     It's not that I fear going blind.  I don't.  It's the behavior of people I may be with I worry about.

     In some ways, the woman was more than the man.  She choose not to see that she was interrupting the flow of buggys in the store. (I can picture hubby doing that.  He complains when others do it, and yet, he does it too.)

     She choose not to see that others could see her belittling the man, and ordering him around like a naughty toddler.  What had he done?  What had he asked for?  Who knows.

      Like a tortured child, he followed where she led, not knowing life doesn't have to be that way.

       In hubby's far extended family, there is an inlaw of that man's generation who has been blind since birth.  He was raised to believe he could do nothing.  He has no voice (caused by expectation).  Speaks to no one.  Only listens to tv and and rides a stationary bike.  He however, is treated kindly.  He doesn't expect to be spoken to, so he never responds to anyone speaking to him.  Still sad.  

      I'm southern, and always called shopping carts buggys.  Never heard them called anything else till I moved north.

April Brown

Writing dramatic adventure novels uncovering the myths we hide behind.

aprilbrownwrite at gmail.com

Website: https://sites.google.com/site/uncoveredmyths/
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On May 24, 2014, at 9:11 PM, Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com> wrote:

> Nothing wrong being the person holding the cane. My husband and I, who
> is also blind, go to the market on our own, either using a store
> employee or friend to help locate items. We either walk back home or if
> purchasing a lot, take a cab, if not with friend/family member. We
> Braille our list, and the only reason it might take us longer is if the
> person helping locate items has a problem finding it. With our cane, we
> know where to go, and get there without much issue. If people give us
> looks of pity, that's there problem. Usually our son charms the pants
> off people though, grin.
> 
> I wasn't always blind, losing my vision at 22. I don't have time for
> people's pity or self-pity. Do I wish I had sight back? Sure, doesn't
> stop me from living my life, moving forward, going about business. Ross
> and I both have university degrees; he works full-time; I'm a
> stay-at-home mom. We manage our house and family like anyone else. We
> enjoy being outside, exercising, going to the theatre and movies, taking
> kids to the park. I cook, Ross does yard work... Blindness hasn't kept
> us from living life, and it hasn't been a huge obstacle. In fact, for
> me, the biggest obstacle I've encountered since losing my vision has
> been the attitudes and perceptions others believe and insist upon me.
> 
> We all learn and adapt in our own way, in our own time, but we make a
> choice to either accept the reality and do what we can to adjust, or we
> choose to wallow, losing more than our physical vision. Not everything
> will come easy during the adjustment, and we won't all pick up certain
> lessons right away or be amazing at them for the rest of our lives. But
> living with blindness is possible, and not just a shadowy, mere
> reflection of our former lives, but a vibrant, full, active version of
> our life. It's all about acceptance and choices.
> 
> BTW, you use the word buggy, are you not from America?
> 
> Bridgit
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of April
> Brown via stylist
> Sent: Saturday, May 24, 2014 6:15 AM
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [stylist] That Look: It's not what you think
> 
> 
> Good morning.
> 
> I had an experience last night.
> 
> We never go grocery shopping on Friday night.  We did anyway.
> 
> It was crowded, and my remaining vision was quickly overwhelmed.  So
> much so, my eye still hurts this morning.  If it weren't for my OCD, I
> couldn't "pass" as sighted.  That's another story for another day.
> 
> Last night, we rounded an aisle corner in the store near the registers.
> 
> A middle aged plus woman and her full buggy blocked the entrance.  She
> was speaking to a man standing flat, almost against the shelves.
> 
> Another woman with a full buggy waited to pass down the aisle as well.
> 
> The first woman finally noticed people waited, apologized loudly, and
> moved her buggy.
> 
> As the second woman passed, I noticed the man had a white support cane.
> 
> What look crossed my face?  
> 
> I'll never know.  Likely not the "pity" she thought she saw.  
> 
> More the feeling of, "That'll be me someday soon."
> 
> She loudly called the man away.
> 
> I went on my way, following hubby, unable to see much further than the
> end of the buggy, or much wider than the buggy.
> 
> Did he even notice?  Highly unlikely.  When he's shopping, he pays no
> attention to the people around him.
> 
> My shopping list had 3 items on it.  In years if I had gone shopping
> alone, I would have run in the store, grabbed those three items, paid,
> and left.  We were in there over an hour, and left with a buggy so full
> I couldn't push it.
> 
> 
> 
> April Brown
> 
> Writing dramatic adventure novels uncovering the myths we hide behind.
> 
> aprilbrownwrite at gmail.com
> 
> Website: https://sites.google.com/site/uncoveredmyths/
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/UncoveredMyths
> Google Plus:  https://plus.google.com/116003267969710767555/posts
> 
> Newsletter Signups: http://t.co/Q5kSUlKV2a
> 
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