[stylist] BH cinquain

[Barbara HAMMEL]

That's exactly what I was trying to figure out to make it do. (But I will keep each line capitalized because that's me. Haha.) Thank you.
Barbara

Sent from my iPhone

> On Aug 10, 2015, at 11:43, Jackie Williams via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Barbara,
> Here is your cinquain. An improvement over your first draft. 
> 
> A DILEMMA
> by Barbara Hammel
> 
> What's wrong
> With a two-faced
> Person is you're never
> For certain with which face you are
> Speaking.
> 
> Here is what I might do.
> 
> A DILEMMA
> by Barbara Hammel
> 
> What's wrong
> with a two-faced
> person? You never know
> for certain with which face you are
> speaking.
> 
> What I did, Barbara was to get rid of one of the contractions, change the
> first character in most lines to small letters, and to add the word "know."
> If you are entering an Adelaide Crapsey cinquain contest, they will probably
> insist on iambic meter.
> Even many of hers were not consistently iambic. Many of mine are also not.
> It all depends on the judge.
> Please, accept my changes as just a suggestion. Sometimes a contraction is
> necessary because of the restricted length. Enjambment instead of
> capitalizing each line is the accepted practice, though every line
> capitalization is coming back in some circles.
> For a poet, it is always her or his choice. This work is yours, through and
> through, and your interest shows that you truly like in depth critiquing. It
> gives a background for your choices.
> 
> Jackie Lee
> 
> Time is the school in which we learn.
> Time is the fire in which we burn.
> Delmore Schwartz     
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Barbara
> HAMMEL via stylist
> Sent: Sunday, August 09, 2015 6:55 PM
> To: Writers' Division Mailing List
> Cc: Barbara HAMMEL
> Subject: Re: [stylist] BH cinquain
> 
> How's this, Jackie?
> 
> A DILEMMA
> by Barbara Hammel
> 
> What's wrong
> With a two-faced
> Person is you're never
> For certain with which face you are
> Speaking.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone
> 
>>> On Aug 9, 2015, at 20:18, Barbara HAMMEL via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>> 
>> Such as in put a punctuation mark before the word you? I'm not coming up
> with another way to phrase currently.
>> Barbara
>> 
>> Sent from my iPhone
>> 
>>> On Aug 9, 2015, at 19:50, Jackie Williams via stylist
> <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> 
>>> Barbara,
>>> I finally got to the treasured cinquains.
>>> This cinquain has a perfect topic, or theme. A lot of punch.
>>> I find myself analyzing the6 syllable line, seeking clarification perhaps
>>> through the punctuation. Can you take another read and see if you can
> find
>>> another path? 
>>> Please write more of them.
>>> Jackie Lee
>>> 
>>> Time is the school in which we learn.
>>> Time is the fire in which we burn.
>>> Delmore Schwartz     
>>> 
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Barbara
>>> HAMMEL via stylist
>>> Sent: Tuesday, August 04, 2015 12:10 PM
>>> To: stylist
>>> Cc: Barbara HAMMEL
>>> Subject: [stylist] BH cinquain
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Here's my contribution to the cinquain writing:
>>> 
>>> A DILEMMA
>>> by Barbara Hammel
>>> 
>>> You know,
>>> What's wrong with a
>>> Two-faced person is you
>>> Never know with which face you are
>>> Speaking.
>>> 
>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>> 
>>> _______________________________________________
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>> 
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> 
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