[stylist] The most famous cinquain

[Jackie Williams]

Barbara,
Thanks for your critique of both of these. I suspect that the popularity of
Crapsey's cinquain is because of the last two syllables, the shock of them,
and the ultimate truth of what she says. It is powerful and I probably
should not have written a parody of it. That might be something that would
offend a judge. Of course, I think the title of mine is the funny part of
it.

Jackie Lee

Time is the school in which we learn.
Time is the fire in which we burn.
Delmore Schwartz	 

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Barbara
Hammel via stylist
Sent: Monday, August 10, 2015 6:20 PM
To: Writers' Division Mailing List
Cc: Barbara Hammel
Subject: Re: [stylist] The most famous cinquain

Maybe because yours is a bit funny?  If not funny, very light.  Hers was 
putting one in a peaceful mood with the first two and then the last one just

knocks you for a loop because it REALLY got somber.
Yours does have the same feel in the sense that the first two are 
consumable? -- is that even a word?  -- and the latter is, of course, a 
person.  I'm not really sure why it would always be rejected.
Barbara




Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.--Robert Frost
-----Original Message----- 
From: Barbara Hammel via stylist
Sent: Monday, August 10, 2015 8:13 PM
To: Writers' Division Mailing List
Cc: Barbara Hammel
Subject: Re: [stylist] The most famous cinquain

Funny, because I think yours is better than hers.
Barbara




Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.--Robert Frost
-----Original Message----- 
From: Jackie Williams via stylist
Sent: Monday, August 10, 2015 6:43 PM
To: 'Writers' Division Mailing List'
Cc: Jackie Williams
Subject: [stylist] The most famous cinquain

Adelaide Crapsey is known for bringing the form to the U.S. Here is her most
famous one.

"There be
three silent things:
the falling snow. the hour
before the dawn. the mouth of one
just dead."


Below is my own parody of this, submitted many times
and always rejected. I always put "after Adelaide Crapsey."

Any suggestions?


Flopsey, Mopsey, and Crapsey


There be
three thrilling things:
macaroni and cheese.
Manhattans, straight up if you please.
and thee.


Jackie Lee

Time is the school in which we learn.
Time is the fire in which we burn.
Delmore Schwartz

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