[stylist] Back to Writing? Obituaries?

Tue Aug 25 04:52:01 UTC 2015

I'm so, so sorry.  I didn't realize that this was your mother, I 
thought it was just a name you made up.  That was very 
inconsiderate of me.
Vejas

 ----- Original Message -----
From: EvaMarie Sanchez <3rdeyeonly at gmail.com
To: "Writers' Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Mon, 24 Aug 2015 21:23:34 -0700
Subject: Re: [stylist] Back to Writing? Obituaries?

Jackie, I failed to say that I was commenting on your bizarre 
obituary for
yourself, not the poems.
I like your mom's poem, it gets the point across nicely.  But I 
really like
your poem.  It gives options for everyone.
I see where you get your talent.  Mama Donnafred is very proud, I 
am sure.
Blessed Be.
Eve

 President, National Federation of the Blind Northern Arizona
President, National Federation of the Blind Writers' Division
Member, Slate & Style Editing Team
Editor, Tapestry, a TAWN publication
"You do not need to have vision to see the stars."

On Mon, Aug 24, 2015 at 9:11 PM, Vejas Vasiliauskas via stylist <
stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:

 I really liked your obituary that you did for yourself.
 Just wondering, where did you get the name Donnafred from? At 
first I
 wasn't sure of the gender of that name-Fred being a boy-but I 
guess if
 Winnifred is a girl, Donnafred would be also.
 What a sad name to be branded with.  I like Donna on its own, 
and I called
 the father in the stories I was writing about earlier Fred, but 
not
 together.

 ----- Original Message -----
 From: EvaMarie Sanchez via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
 To: "Writers' Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
 Date sent: Mon, 24 Aug 2015 19:37:20 -0700
 Subject: Re: [stylist] Back to Writing? Obituaries?

 Jackie, I say this with the utmost of respect and love...  You 
are weird.
 hahaha
 I really had no idea where this was going at first.  It is an 
interesting
 concept and wonder how many will take the challenge.  If not 
your own
 obituary, perhaps one of your characters'?
 Sounds like some good dank fun.
 Eve
 Oh, and I think you should have called pest control much sooner.  
Eu.

 President, National Federation of the Blind Northern Arizona
 President, National Federation of the Blind Writers' Division
 Member, Slate & Style Editing Team
 Editor, Tapestry, a TAWN publication
 "You do not need to have vision to see the stars."

 On Mon, Aug 24, 2015 at 10:22 AM, Jackie Williams via stylist <
 stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:

 All of the last back and forths made me start to write 
obituaries.  Though
 I
 have four, I am just including a very short poem of my mother's, 
and
 another
 short one of mine.
 I am also pasting a fictional obituary simply because one of the 
men in our
 poetry group and I had an ongoing feud about who could write the 
most
 ridiculous obituary.
 No winner was ever declared.
 So have some fun, or if you wish to continue the religious 
aspects, this is
 a way you can do so and have it critiqued from the professionals 
we are,
 and
 not for the content which we might not agree with.

 Solution
 Just plant me under a tree
 Environmentally.
 You won't need a casket
 a box or a basket
 for biodegradable me.
               Donnafred

 Obituary

 When I am settled down up there
 I'll have myself a holy tear,
 or when I'm fired up down there,
 I'll surely make the Devil care.

 But if I'm not invited in
 because of godly grace or sin,
 I'll plant myself in earth with men,
 and grow to bud and bloom again.
               Jacqueline Williams

 Obituary                           Jacqueline Williams
 On Oct.  22, Pesky Home Pest Control and Conservation visited 
the Lee home
 in
 response to a frantic call about the sight of several huge sewer 
size
 cockroaches.  The woman of the house lived alone, and was 
partially sighted
 but could see big moving black blobs on the white tile in her 
bathroom.
 The
 records showed that the entire house was sprayed.  On the 
morning of Oct.
 24,
 in answer to a Medic-alert flash, the following scenario was 
surmised about
 the death of said woman.  While taking a shower, apparently Miss 
Lee tried
 to
 bolt from the enclosed space and got tangled in the shower 
curtain.  Her
 weight apparently broke the curtain loose, and she fell within 
it on her
 back in an oval shaped empty clothes basket near the shower.  
Her arms and
 legs were sticking straight up from the dark curtain lining the 
basket, now
 like a shell.  In the shower, and again, next to the basket 
there were two
 huge cockroaches on their backs with their legs sticking 
straight up.  The
 family does not know whether it was a broken neck, or from shock 
that
 caused
 a heart attack, or whether Miss Lee had an allergic reaction to 
pest spray.
 It has since been found that the City of Mesa sprayed the sewers 
in front
 of
 the home area on Oct.  20, causing the cockroaches to make a run 
for any
 exits, one being the shower of Miss Lee.  The strangest aspect 
is that a
 recording of a Mexican national dance, named "La Cucaracha" was 
still
 spinning on a player next to the bath, with a cockroach costume 
laid out on
 the bed.  Her sons said it was a favorite dance that she loved 
to teach her
 students when they needed shaking up a bit.  Pesky Home Pest 
Control and
 Conservation offered to provide food after the service, but the 
family
 declined.  There are no services scheduled as no one could be 
found to give
 a
 eulogy.  It is rumored that the contents of the house, 
containing many art
 objects and paintings of insects, will be auctioned off.  I, as 
a
 red-blooded
 journalist, have chosen to print this with no byline in spite of 
a request
 for privacy.

 Jackie Lee

 Time is the school in which we learn.
 Time is the fire in which we burn.
 Delmore Schwartz

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