[stylist] The Jacuzzi Event by Old Blind Mike! For fun!

Fri Aug 28 16:55:49 UTC 2015

Mike

Yeah, even a sighted guy could make a mistake like that. So hey, you are an interesting writer. Funny.

Robert Leslie Newman 
Sent from my iPhone

> On Aug 28, 2015, at 3:31 AM, Michael via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> The Italian Jacuzzi Marinating Event!
> 
> Another adventure from the annals of Old Blind Mike.
> 
> Our family was trying to get ready for visiting guests that were soon to
> arrive. Two of my assigned tasks were; clean up the family Jacuzzi and
> get it ready to use and I was to marinate up a bunch of lamb chops with
> my special combination of rich aromatic spices and really top grade
> powders…and not withstanding, things like this could happen to any of us
> near blind folks…right? 
> 
> My lovely, well-organized wife informed me that just that morning, she
> had filled the Jacuzzi with new water and had adjusted the chemical
> balance just right and for me to test the temperature and clean up
> everything else in the area. She added, “And don’t mess things up, we
> ain’t got no more water chemicals to balance things out.”
> 
> By the afternoon, I was in the middle of my great marinating task when I
> remembered her orders on checking the temperature and thought to go take
> a look. 
> 
> So you readers thoroughly understand the event described herein, realize
> I was under the influence of unpaid debt, having to listen to serious
> teen arguments and still worried about unresolved computer frustrations.
> My emotional state was in one of those lack-luster moods and I did not
> know which way it was going to go.  With further requests coming my way
> from my Lovely, I entered into a wife challenge daze. I stepped out back
> still carrying one large premixed (my specialty) bottle of garlic and
> onion powder blend. Zip, our ugly yard cat flashed into the house and I
> now spent ten minutes coaxing it back, finally using a lamb chop in its
> persuasion. Now my concoction of incredible spices was not one of these
> little table shakers but a full on quart sized container with a screw on
> lid…and it was full. But why I had it with me is still a mystery.  
> 
> I saw that the Jacuzzi lid was closed.  Setting the large container off
> to one side, I opened the Jacuzzi cover to see how it was doing. Oh boy,
> it looked good, bubbling and clean and couldn’t wait to get in.  When
> that gurgling water splashed up at me, I remembered that we had several
> jars of menthol crystals that we used to scent the hot bubbling waters.
> We kept them on the inside fence and as I was looking for them I was
> sidetracked with a temperature gadget and a fast stumble over a kids toy.
> In my negligence, I somehow managed to switch the menthol crystals with
> the same size bottle of garlic and onion powder and yes, I had poured in
> half a bottle when the pungent scent of garlic and onion began bubbling
> up into my nostrils!
> 
> I know, I know, how stupid can one person get. I should have taken a
> closer smell of the bottle before dumping its contents into that fresh
> hot bubbling pool of healing.
> 
> O wow, what a scent, it was rather delicious until I realized that this
> potent flavor was now gushing through my Jacuzzi pipes, into the filter
> and out again as my wife’s newly balanced water became one giant garlic
> and onion soup mix. 
> 
> Our Jacuzzi was now a frothing formula of Italian fumeatorium smells and
> Oh no, I cried out, “Sheeet, my wife is gonna kill me!" 
> 
> Oh wow, there was no way of hiding this one, the Jacuzzi was bubbling hot
> and inviting and omitting a very powerful garlic onion flavor into the
> surrounding area. Even the Italian dogs in the neighborhood started
> barking and going nuts. I thought fast and hard, and dashed into the
> house and grabbed a bottle of lemon juice and dumped it into the bubbling
> bar-b-q brew. I thought that the lemon might neutralize the garlic and
> onion scent---and give me some credit, it did help a little. 
> 
> I thought this could be a great thing if I had only invited over 1000
> people for a spaghetti dinner, I’d only have to add spaghetti and I’d
> have some really great tasting noodles. There was nothing to do but let
> it circulate a little and went back into the house to finish my work with
> preparing the meats for tonight's Bar-B-Q dinner. O my, in the mean time
> my youngest daughter and her young guest came in from the back and
> without telling me, decided to get into the Jacuzzi, and o wow, they came
> out smelling like a garlic factory from the heart of Italy. 
> 
> Before my wife came forth and discovered the disaster, I tried washing
> them off but the bubbling waters seemed to have cooked them into
> permanent Shilling Representatives and to tell you the truth, if they had
> been bar-B-Q, they would have smelled great.
> 
> Hey, maybe I managed to invent a brand new body scent. I am sure that
> aroma would have drawn the men and boys by the dozens, sniffing their way
> to a loaf of garlic bread served with some spaghetti. I will let you come
> up with some fancy name and we'll market it together.
> 
> The big troubles came my way when my lovely wife soon discovered that her
> lovely little darling smelled like a fresh plowed field of garlic and
> onions and it wasn’t funny. For she was supposed to spend the night at
> friends but in no way could we send her there smelling like the Shilling
> Company! And what the heck was our friends going to say about sending
> their daughter home, “crying” and smelling like the inside of a
> garlic-onion bottle?
> 
> We had to flush the tub several times and run vinegar through the system.
> Hey, the only thing missing was the salad and bread sticks! I told my
> wife to maybe bake up a ton of cheese and garlic bread and we could sit
> around the Jacuzzi, experiencing Italy in its fullness. However, we would
> first have to serve at least a gallon of red wine to our guests, before
> sitting down to our patio dinner around the Jacuzzi. 
> 
> That evening, before my wife went into some crazy excuse to our guests
> for her lame brain husband, I stepped up and as they were sniffing the
> air, I told them that we were going Italian full on, just for them!
> 
> I did survive! However, it was several months before any one dared get
> back into that spaghetti-garlic-onion caldron!
> 
> Michael M. Tickenoff
> Saturday July 23, 2005
> 
> TickPub Thanks You,
> All The Best And More,
> Regards And Respect From Michael!
> Visit www.storynetadventures.com Get Your Free Travel Humor Book!
> Just Click On The Blue Linked Book On The Shelf!
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