[stylist] I would appreciate your help

Wed Feb 4 14:46:11 UTC 2015

Bridget,

I found your comments very interesting, especially this:
*and we both sighed inwardly because on weekends, we like to try
to just be together as a family. Guess we are becoming recluses in our
dotage, LOL!*

It's this that I'm interested in.  The social pressure to go out and the 
feelings that staying in is not just as valid a use of your time.   I don't 
want to read more into your words than you meant.  the inward sigh indicated 
to me a need to prepare yourself to disappoint the other person.  Your use 
of the word recluse suggests to me that you feel staying home is the 
inferior option.

I'd rather stay at home or go for a walk by myself to contemplate, than go 
to a bar.   I think I might rather have a root canal than go to a bar, but 
it'd be a close call!  There is a lot of expectation to have a lot of 
friends, have extensive social networks, go to business networking events 
and the like.  I absolutely hate those business networking events where you 
are expected to have drinks, mingle and extoled your virtues to prospective 
employers.  It feels very fake to me.  I made a huge leap forward in my 
personal happiness and authenticity when I decided that networking events 
sucked and I wasn't going to do them anymore.  There are better ways for me 
to make those connections.  Ways that work for me, feel right and are more 
productive. But professionals in the field of career development or job 
placement would probably have a stroke if I said that to them.  It's not 
what they teach.

Anyway it's just another example of how social expectation clashes with the 
needs and strengths of the introvert personality type.

Julie
Courage to Dare: A Blind Woman's Quest to Train her Own Guide Dog is now 
available! Get the book here:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QXZSMOC
Visit my new website on developing courage and living authentically:
http://www.falling-up.com
-----Original Message----- 
From: Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter via stylist
Sent: Wednesday, February 04, 2015 8:20 AM
To: 'Semirhage' ; 'Writers' Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] I would appreciate your help

I'm a mom in my mid-30's, and most my friends, while parents too, are still
in their mid to late 20's. They don't always understand why I would rather
chill at home instead of going out to the pub or some other social
environment. Thank god most of them have out-grown the disco, LOL!

Unlike many of our friends, my husband and I usually prefer to be
home-bodies. We like getting out in nice weather to be active with the kids,
but to actually go out go out, not always our bag, grin.

We do a play or movie or dinner from time-to-time, but in general, we like
being at home, around the house doing things with the kids or doing things
as a couple.

Even in my 20's, I wasn't the type to party, I enjoyed a good book back then
too, but now, I really don't like too many social interactions.

Just the other day, friends asked if we wanted to hang out Saturday, just at
the house, and we both sighed inwardly because on weekends, we like to try
to just be together as a family. Guess we are becoming recluses in our
dotage, LOL!

Plus, in the winter, I become a bear and just want to hibernate until it's
warm again. Love my summer and can't get enough being outside in summer, but
winter, no thanks, grin.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Semirhage via
stylist
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2015 8:27 PM
To: Julie J.; Writers' Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] I would appreciate your help

As an introvert with extrovert tendencies I say guilt is pointless when it
comes to social activities. If I don't want to go, don't think I'll enjoy it
I just don't. If I think a person will pressure me until I'll have to be
rude to them I  just say I've a flu and no one  wants a person there with a
fllu. LOL. But usually I'm just honest and say we've other things to do, or
that I flat  out don't want to. Our  friends asked us last week if we wanted
to go to Ashland, like an hour away, to this music thing and I just said
thank for thinking of us but we're  not into that sort of music and just
don't want to. No reason to waste time doing something  out of any social
obligation when I'd rather do something else. I tend to be the most social
when truly around people I really click with, few and far between sadly, but
if I feel the need to be social that's what I need. Or an interesting
environment, meaning something I"m interested in. Specific types of music or
food or if it's shops, period type stuff or old toys or rocks/gems, whatever
as long as I'm into it.
Sem
I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed.
I get along with the voices inside of my head.

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