[stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

[Vejas Vasiliauskas]

Hi Helen,
That was a great read! Did you make these up, or are they 
actually real?
I particularly liked the description for number 3.  I don't live 
near the snow-comI live near the beach-but it's possible to ski 
in California about three hours away.
I've heard that the snow-storms are bad ouough!
Vejas

 ----- Original Message -----
From: EJ Kobek via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
To: NFB Stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Thu, 19 Feb 2015 10:35:31 -0500
Subject: [stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow 
right now

Hi, all.  Helen Kobek here.  I didn't find any apps to laser cut 
openings in
snow banks.  But I did find some other apps to help us all get 
around more
safely.  (Wink, wink).  These apps are free of charge, and you 
might even be
able to get your health insurance to pay you to get them, given 
that they
can save the company lots of money on you, for things like ER 
visit,
nursing home care, hospitalization, even hospice!! Here they are:

1.  "Looking Up!" This kindly, adrenal-protecting app watches the
overhanging snow and icicles from one building ahead of your 
path.  It
signals you of such presences, and even reports on the tension in 
the
snow-hang, and the connectivity of the icicles.  You can set 
"Looking Up!"
to make a decision for you as to whether you should run the odds 
of
passing, and given that the odds were long that we'd be vision 
impaired,
I'd say we're not the luckiest people.  So, do what "Looking Up!" 
advises.
If you are instructed not to pass, then use the next app to get 
out on the
street and take your chances that way!

2.  "The Whiner." Judgy in name, but generous in application, 
"The Whiner"
looks around for openings in snow banks.  You can set "The 
Whiner" to find
whatever width you need for passing - from 6" (literally
one-foot-in-front-of-the-other) to code-like three feet.  If "The 
whiner"
tells you there is not way out, use the next app.

3.  "Humble Heli-Me!." This spirit-dowsing app signals the 
nearest
helicopter to come fetch you and bring you back home, where you 
never
should have left in the first place, goodness knows.  "Humble 
Heli-Me!"
comes with a guarantee of three passes (per use) of getting a 
rope into
your hands from up above in the helicopter.  , which you will 
grab onto to
be lifted out of where you've gotten yourself into.  If you have 
trouble
finding the rope, use the next app.

4.  "Humble Heli-Me Rope Locator." A simple app.  No description 
needed.

So I hope these apps are helpful.  (Wink.) Stay safe everyone.

Warmly and in all good humor,

Helen Kobek
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