[stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

[EJ Kobek]

Hi, Vejas,

Oh, yeah, these are all made up apps ....that's the kind of writing I
really enjoy, too, is satirical, could-be-true material. It's an honor that
you thought they were real apps......Smile.....

Helen

On Thu, Feb 19, 2015 at 12:51 PM, Vejas Vasiliauskas <
alpineimagination at gmail.com> wrote:

> Hi Helen,
> That was a great read! Did you make these up, or are they actually real?
> I particularly liked the description for number 3.  I don't live near the
> snow-comI live near the beach-but it's possible to ski in California about
> three hours away.
> I've heard that the snow-storms are bad ouough!
> Vejas
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: EJ Kobek via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
> To: NFB Stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Thu, 19 Feb 2015 10:35:31 -0500
> Subject: [stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now
>
> Hi, all.  Helen Kobek here.  I didn't find any apps to laser cut openings
> in
> snow banks.  But I did find some other apps to help us all get around more
> safely.  (Wink, wink).  These apps are free of charge, and you might even
> be
> able to get your health insurance to pay you to get them, given that they
> can save the company lots of money on you, for things like ER visit,
> nursing home care, hospitalization, even hospice!! Here they are:
>
> 1.  "Looking Up!" This kindly, adrenal-protecting app watches the
> overhanging snow and icicles from one building ahead of your path.  It
> signals you of such presences, and even reports on the tension in the
> snow-hang, and the connectivity of the icicles.  You can set "Looking Up!"
> to make a decision for you as to whether you should run the odds of
> passing, and given that the odds were long that we'd be vision impaired,
> I'd say we're not the luckiest people.  So, do what "Looking Up!" advises.
> If you are instructed not to pass, then use the next app to get out on the
> street and take your chances that way!
>
> 2.  "The Whiner." Judgy in name, but generous in application, "The Whiner"
> looks around for openings in snow banks.  You can set "The Whiner" to find
> whatever width you need for passing - from 6" (literally
> one-foot-in-front-of-the-other) to code-like three feet.  If "The whiner"
> tells you there is not way out, use the next app.
>
> 3.  "Humble Heli-Me!." This spirit-dowsing app signals the nearest
> helicopter to come fetch you and bring you back home, where you never
> should have left in the first place, goodness knows.  "Humble Heli-Me!"
> comes with a guarantee of three passes (per use) of getting a rope into
> your hands from up above in the helicopter.  , which you will grab onto to
> be lifted out of where you've gotten yourself into.  If you have trouble
> finding the rope, use the next app.
>
> 4.  "Humble Heli-Me Rope Locator." A simple app.  No description needed.
>
> So I hope these apps are helpful.  (Wink.) Stay safe everyone.
>
> Warmly and in all good humor,
>
> Helen Kobek
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