[stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

[Jacobson, Shawn D]

Myrna

I remember seeing a triolet in The Writer about how people in New Orleans didn't have experience with snow because they only got it once or twice a century.  Smile.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of myrnaspoetry--- via stylist
Sent: Thursday, February 19, 2015 2:08 PM
To: EJ Kobek; Writers' Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

Great humor and though the apps aren't real perhaps they should. We see snow once a decade, maybe twice or so. Just imagine what that's like.  We have to shut down totally lol Myrna



> On Feb 19, 2015, at 12:33 PM, EJ Kobek via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hi, Vejas,
> 
> Oh, yeah, these are all made up apps ....that's the kind of writing I 
> really enjoy, too, is satirical, could-be-true material. It's an honor 
> that you thought they were real apps......Smile.....
> 
> Helen
> 
> On Thu, Feb 19, 2015 at 12:51 PM, Vejas Vasiliauskas < 
> alpineimagination at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
>> Hi Helen,
>> That was a great read! Did you make these up, or are they actually real?
>> I particularly liked the description for number 3.  I don't live near 
>> the snow-comI live near the beach-but it's possible to ski in 
>> California about three hours away.
>> I've heard that the snow-storms are bad ouough!
>> Vejas
>> 
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: EJ Kobek via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
>> To: NFB Stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
>> Date sent: Thu, 19 Feb 2015 10:35:31 -0500
>> Subject: [stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right 
>> now
>> 
>> Hi, all.  Helen Kobek here.  I didn't find any apps to laser cut 
>> openings in snow banks.  But I did find some other apps to help us 
>> all get around more safely.  (Wink, wink).  These apps are free of 
>> charge, and you might even be able to get your health insurance to 
>> pay you to get them, given that they can save the company lots of 
>> money on you, for things like ER visit, nursing home care, 
>> hospitalization, even hospice!! Here they are:
>> 
>> 1.  "Looking Up!" This kindly, adrenal-protecting app watches the 
>> overhanging snow and icicles from one building ahead of your path.  
>> It signals you of such presences, and even reports on the tension in 
>> the snow-hang, and the connectivity of the icicles.  You can set "Looking Up!"
>> to make a decision for you as to whether you should run the odds of 
>> passing, and given that the odds were long that we'd be vision 
>> impaired, I'd say we're not the luckiest people.  So, do what "Looking Up!" advises.
>> If you are instructed not to pass, then use the next app to get out 
>> on the street and take your chances that way!
>> 
>> 2.  "The Whiner." Judgy in name, but generous in application, "The Whiner"
>> looks around for openings in snow banks.  You can set "The Whiner" to 
>> find whatever width you need for passing - from 6" (literally
>> one-foot-in-front-of-the-other) to code-like three feet.  If "The whiner"
>> tells you there is not way out, use the next app.
>> 
>> 3.  "Humble Heli-Me!." This spirit-dowsing app signals the nearest 
>> helicopter to come fetch you and bring you back home, where you never 
>> should have left in the first place, goodness knows.  "Humble Heli-Me!"
>> comes with a guarantee of three passes (per use) of getting a rope 
>> into your hands from up above in the helicopter.  , which you will 
>> grab onto to be lifted out of where you've gotten yourself into.  If 
>> you have trouble finding the rope, use the next app.
>> 
>> 4.  "Humble Heli-Me Rope Locator." A simple app.  No description needed.
>> 
>> So I hope these apps are helpful.  (Wink.) Stay safe everyone.
>> 
>> Warmly and in all good humor,
>> 
>> Helen Kobek
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