[stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

Fri Feb 20 14:17:07 UTC 2015

How much snow are we talking about that you potentially need a helicopter to
lift you out? LOL Not sure I've been around that much snow ever, grin.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Vejas
Vasiliauskas via stylist
Sent: Thursday, February 19, 2015 11:52 AM
To: EJ Kobek; Writers' Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

Hi Helen,
That was a great read! Did you make these up, or are they actually real?
I particularly liked the description for number 3.  I don't live near the
snow-comI live near the beach-but it's possible to ski in California about
three hours away.
I've heard that the snow-storms are bad ouough!
Vejas

 ----- Original Message -----
From: EJ Kobek via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
To: NFB Stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Thu, 19 Feb 2015 10:35:31 -0500
Subject: [stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

Hi, all.  Helen Kobek here.  I didn't find any apps to laser cut openings in
snow banks.  But I did find some other apps to help us all get around more
safely.  (Wink, wink).  These apps are free of charge, and you might even be
able to get your health insurance to pay you to get them, given that they
can save the company lots of money on you, for things like ER visit, nursing
home care, hospitalization, even hospice!! Here they are:

1.  "Looking Up!" This kindly, adrenal-protecting app watches the
overhanging snow and icicles from one building ahead of your path.  It
signals you of such presences, and even reports on the tension in the
snow-hang, and the connectivity of the icicles.  You can set "Looking Up!"
to make a decision for you as to whether you should run the odds of passing,
and given that the odds were long that we'd be vision impaired, I'd say
we're not the luckiest people.  So, do what "Looking Up!" 
advises.
If you are instructed not to pass, then use the next app to get out on the
street and take your chances that way!

2.  "The Whiner." Judgy in name, but generous in application, "The Whiner"
looks around for openings in snow banks.  You can set "The Whiner" to find
whatever width you need for passing - from 6" (literally
one-foot-in-front-of-the-other) to code-like three feet.  If "The whiner"
tells you there is not way out, use the next app.

3.  "Humble Heli-Me!." This spirit-dowsing app signals the nearest
helicopter to come fetch you and bring you back home, where you never should
have left in the first place, goodness knows.  "Humble Heli-Me!"
comes with a guarantee of three passes (per use) of getting a rope into your
hands from up above in the helicopter.  , which you will grab onto to be
lifted out of where you've gotten yourself into.  If you have trouble
finding the rope, use the next app.

4.  "Humble Heli-Me Rope Locator." A simple app.  No description needed.

So I hope these apps are helpful.  (Wink.) Stay safe everyone.

Warmly and in all good humor,

Helen Kobek
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