[stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

Fri Feb 20 14:50:26 UTC 2015

>From what I've seen of Boston, they may need helicopter rescue from some of there drifts.

Also, when we had snowmageddon a few years back, we had some truly big snowdrifts.  I think we still have pictures of my son shoveling snow onto snow banks that were taller than he is.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter via stylist
Sent: Friday, February 20, 2015 9:17 AM
To: 'Vejas Vasiliauskas'; 'Writers' Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

How much snow are we talking about that you potentially need a helicopter to lift you out? LOL Not sure I've been around that much snow ever, grin.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Vejas Vasiliauskas via stylist
Sent: Thursday, February 19, 2015 11:52 AM
To: EJ Kobek; Writers' Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

Hi Helen,
That was a great read! Did you make these up, or are they actually real?
I particularly liked the description for number 3.  I don't live near the snow-comI live near the beach-but it's possible to ski in California about three hours away.
I've heard that the snow-storms are bad ouough!
Vejas

 ----- Original Message -----
From: EJ Kobek via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
To: NFB Stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Thu, 19 Feb 2015 10:35:31 -0500
Subject: [stylist] Snow humor.....for those who live in snow right now

Hi, all.  Helen Kobek here.  I didn't find any apps to laser cut openings in snow banks.  But I did find some other apps to help us all get around more safely.  (Wink, wink).  These apps are free of charge, and you might even be able to get your health insurance to pay you to get them, given that they can save the company lots of money on you, for things like ER visit, nursing home care, hospitalization, even hospice!! Here they are:

1.  "Looking Up!" This kindly, adrenal-protecting app watches the overhanging snow and icicles from one building ahead of your path.  It signals you of such presences, and even reports on the tension in the snow-hang, and the connectivity of the icicles.  You can set "Looking Up!"
to make a decision for you as to whether you should run the odds of passing, and given that the odds were long that we'd be vision impaired, I'd say we're not the luckiest people.  So, do what "Looking Up!" 
advises.
If you are instructed not to pass, then use the next app to get out on the street and take your chances that way!

2.  "The Whiner." Judgy in name, but generous in application, "The Whiner"
looks around for openings in snow banks.  You can set "The Whiner" to find whatever width you need for passing - from 6" (literally
one-foot-in-front-of-the-other) to code-like three feet.  If "The whiner"
tells you there is not way out, use the next app.

3.  "Humble Heli-Me!." This spirit-dowsing app signals the nearest helicopter to come fetch you and bring you back home, where you never should have left in the first place, goodness knows.  "Humble Heli-Me!"
comes with a guarantee of three passes (per use) of getting a rope into your hands from up above in the helicopter.  , which you will grab onto to be lifted out of where you've gotten yourself into.  If you have trouble finding the rope, use the next app.

4.  "Humble Heli-Me Rope Locator." A simple app.  No description needed.

So I hope these apps are helpful.  (Wink.) Stay safe everyone.

Warmly and in all good humor,

Helen Kobek
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